Well hello there friend!
I'm unsure where to start, as I always have a slow lift off and as you've ready previous notes I'm all over the place with my thoughts.
It began with a Dove Chocolate wrapper, about a month ago. Actually, let's take one more step back from that day.. it started with the new year. Every year, I make resolutions, goals, etc etc etc as we all try so hard to do and keep. I'll shimmy through all of my thoughts to help you understand where I'm coming from. I never try to force my views on anyone but I'm hoping perhaps, maybe these will help some of you with whatever you might be facing. I've always been a little bit of an open book and I'm okay with that. I know my boundaries and when trust takes the lead.
How did this all start? I know you're asking yourself this.. or maybe not. :) I decided with the new year that I need to be me again. We are always us in the matter that our bodies do not change, but did you ever feel a little lost? Did you regret a moment because you were scared and then thought back that you were never scared in the past? Did you ever find yourself in a situation that you never felt you would ever be? This could be anywhere from certain types of people that do not bring out the best part of you to opinions you find yourself having that make you dislike yourself a little more? The truth is, I was beginning to head down that road. Now for me it wasn't anything 'crazy' where it was noticeable, but in time I did notice it and since I have to live with myself.. I had to do something about it.
So there I was lost, upset, sad, maybe depressed (I would never admit) wondering where KT went, curious to know why I couldn't hold a conversation anymore, or in the same respect why I chose to avoid conversations. I would cancel on events, or seclude myself on several occasions. I didn't feel fun anymore. That wasn't me, for those who 'know' me.. that wasn't me. I finally woke up and looked at myself in the mirror. It took a while but 2010 pointed a lot out to me. 2010 decided to reintroduce me to me.
Now back to the chocolate, Dove.. I must give you some credit here. I opened the candy under the assumption that I was indulge in a delicious sweet treat. To my surprise there was a little 'love note' as I like to call it. It read 'Try something new today'. This wrapper now lives in my wallet and hopefully it'll remain there for the rest of my life. Since that day I have tried or done something new each day. I speak the truth..
I forgot that amazing feeling you get when there's something new in your life in some way. It feels like a great accomplishment each day as I've lived so far in 2010. I've eaten new foods that I would never had tried as I'm fussy as all hell when it comes to food. I have ventured out to some new places that I've seen but just never had ambition to go into. I've made new friends and also reconnected with old friends. You may not consider that new (reconnecting with friends) but it's new to the life I've been living, they haven't been apart of it and now are in some way or another.
Another thing I am doing this year is a monthly cousin's gathering. I have a huge family and they are so amazing. We've all been through some powerful, life changing events whether together or apart but it's made our family that much stronger. I wanted to do something where we can all enjoy each other's company and perhaps do fun activities. I will leave it at last month was Karaoke night and we sung our hearts out! For those that feel they can never find time if you set one night a month guaranteed with a certain group of friends or family it will work. You will all make it work. It's so important to stay close with one another through life. We only have one life..
In conclusion.. my whole outlook on this year is making a change to my life; however, gaining who I am again and remembering that this is the only life I get.
Thank you 2010, for coming into my life.
I love you all more than you'll ever know, but I hope you do know!