Thursday, February 19, 2015

Our Funny Valentine

This past Valentine's Day was Charlie and I 14th Valentine's together. I remember early on in our relationship something always came up on that day where we couldn't spend it together. After a few years it wasn't so much a big deal anymore. We never went out but we would give each other cards and maybe the occasional gift.

A year ago was our first Valentine's as a married couple, woohoo! Since it felt like a special enough reason to celebrate we had reservations and went to dinner. I remember feeling so happy being out with Charlie at a fancy shmancy restaurant enjoying a glass of wine and chicken parmigiana. I felt pretty and not so broken. Mainly, because a few weeks prior I had gotten positives on a bunch of pregnancy tests. Sadly, for whatever reason those "positives" just were not meant to be that month, they weren't meant to be for us at that time. 

Being out with Charlie that night on Valentine's Day cheered me up, lifted my spirits. I wasn't sitting around questioning "why me? why us?". What I hadn't known then, which I know now.. is that night when we were at dinner celebrating the Holiday of Love as a married couple, we had already conceived Autumn. 

This past Valentine's Day we spent the evening in, snuggling with Autumn, enjoying take-out of Chicken Parmigiana and a bottle of wine. We celebrated the love that Autumn has brought to our lives and forever this Holiday will represent her. 

Thursday, February 5, 2015

Telling Stories Without Books

We show her love every day.
Every second.
We give her kisses.
We tell her how much she's loved.
Every day she wakes up
I tell her what a miracle she is.
Every day she wakes up
I tell her she completes us.
Even though she won't remember now
I tell her stories.
Stories about Charlie and I 
How we met.
When we found our first apartment.
Moving in on New Year's Eve.
Searching for our own home.
Moving in on Halloween.
How we found Nevan, Minnie and Peanut.
I tell her about Larry the Frog who will never die.
When we found out we were pregnant.
The reactions of announcing to everyone.
I tell her so many stories.
About visits to NYC.
Vacations in Old Orchard.
The time we went to Disney.
Travelling to California.
The time we lost power for a week during a blizzard.
How Charlie would win at Survivor.
Day trips that Charlie and I have taken.
Amazing places we stumbled upon while driving
with no direction.
I tell her about her family.
Grandparents, Aunts, Uncles, Cousins.
I show her pictures and name the faces.
I've told her about the time I chased a thief in my car 
with her Auntie Michelle. 
Her eyes widen, because I animate my voice every time.
I told her the first time I went fishing with my Memere.
I told her stories of my Memere, Papa and my Grandma.
I told her how much Charlie loved his Grandma.
Stories of people she won't have the chance to meet.
Like the best Birthday gift I ever got.
A cucumber wrapped in newspaper 
from a garden that my Papa and I grew together.
I tell her the things I loved to do as a child.
Biking, rollerblading, catching frogs, snakes and turtles.
Playing kick the can with the my cousins.
I want to teach her that.
Art contests I had won and how it all began
with a coloring book.
I sing the stories to her.
Even though my voice is off key.
I tell her to always be herself, sing and dance her heart out.
You know.. like no one is watching.
I tell her how beautiful she is
and describe her face to her.
I'll continue to tell her stories every day 
someday maybe she'll tell me stories.
Someday maybe she'll tell her children stories
that I once spoke of.