Tuesday, November 11, 2008

Strangers end up becoming our best friends!

It's Tuesday night and the flu is slowly making its way out of my body.. the flu. I didn't get a flu shot because I personally don't feel it'll help me. Is this Karma? Last week, work was offering them right near my desk. Can I just add literally 20 ft a way in a little room perhaps 8x8. I thought no way.. not me.. I don't need that shot! Two days later I wake up feeling like a pile of dog droppings. I don't even think that comparison does justice. I felt like sewage, lol. Okay, enough! The very bottom line is I was sick.. am sick, getting better thank god by the day. I have surgery scheduled for Friday, can this have happened at a worse time? I keep telling myself I'm being tested for how strong of a person I very well might be. How am I doing, whoever is watching me under a microscope? I would love a report =)

The topic I wanted to touch base on is relationships. Feedback is always appreciated as I'm always trying to make heads or tails with my thoughts. Isn't it amazing the various, different, unique relationships we have with people and though categorizing everyone, none of them are the same. When I say relationships I'm not referring to the typical love interest.. a spouse or significant other. I mean our family, friends, those we work with all day long (co-workers or simplify it), neighbors? I'm going to scratch out neighbors only because Charlie and I don't have the friendliest ones and I can't really define that. I would love to hear your stories though!

My definition of family would have to be those in your life that no matter what happens will always have an infinite amount of love to give to you, never walk away emotionally, share memories that no other relationships could possibly ever come close to replacing. They will always be there. Sometimes you'll build such an amazing bond with your family that it seems too good to be true to be called family. Family you're born into in a way, related by blood as so many say. You're love just grows beyond a shared last name. Now taking a step back you may be picturing a family with no faults. It rains and sometimes it pours, but please.. please keep in mind the sun always comes out! There are always situations that families face together or apart. They may not be around or there are always those unresolved issues that break up a happy home; however, they are the same ones that surprise you when life has carried you to the edge. In a way, to me, they're you're forever friends and will always know you in a way other relationship won't. "To us, family means putting your arms around each other and being there."

Friends! This one is huge and I need to keep it as short, sweet and simple as possible. Friends branches to so many other sub categories. You have acquaintances, those you confide in, the ones that just want to have a good time. All in all they're friends. At one point in your life they may have been your everything. The one that kept you together when you felt there was no one else to hold you up. I feel our emotions are the same with friends as they are with our family relationships but our actions seem to change with each person we love. I've noticed in life observing people as I LOVE to gives hugs to everyone.. it's easier for people to hug friends than family. I don't feel you love either less or more, it's the approach. It's what each person brings out of you. My suggestion HUG EVERYONE! Start now, start tomorrow! "A friend is someone who helps you up when you're down, and if they can't, they lay down beside you and listen."

It's hard to get up and go to work every day, I think everyone will agree. What makes it worth while, the money? Of course! Co-workers you build relationships with. Me personally, I feel I'm at work more than I am home. During the week that probably is true if you're counting the hours sleeping. The people I work with make it close to easy waking up and dragging myself to my desk everyday. We support one another, since we're all in it together. It's so important to build relationships at work, it's not good to be in a negative environment since work is the wood that keeps the fireplace burning, right? "Never lose site of the fact that the most important yardstick of your success will be how you treat other people - your family, friends and coworkers, and even strangers you meet along the way."

I love everyone so much and the various relationships we've all built through out the years. I try so hard to express that to everyone and hope you all know how important you are. =)

Goodnight everyone, love you all!!


Monday, November 10, 2008

I think it's time to change our socks

Change is the word I see and hear where ever I go. "Something has gotta give." A new president, it's about time. I don't like politics so I'm not going to expand too much on my views here. I will admit, I constantly keep telling myself this is a good thing even though I didn't like either party and their future projects are a bit frightening. Things won't get resolved in 4 years that is true. It takes time but hopefully it's on our side.

Do you ever take a step back a big step back and thing of all that has been accomplished in life? Ever seen the movie Hairspray? It's a musical, yes I know.. a bunch of young teenie boppers dancing around and singing about the specific moment they're in. It's much more than that. Segregation, remember that word? The young generation growing up now may never have heard of this unless they're taught it in Social Studies. Every time I think about it, I take a moment to take thank MLK Jr for initiating what ended up leading to integration. I cannot even begin to imagine living in a world where we're told who we can associate ourselves with. My parents raised me to love everyone and everything. Isn't that huge obstacle this country has overcome?

Each decade seems to bring new struggles, or more so every year. I know things are hard right now, but thinking back to a time when it was worse, shouldn't we be more thankful for what we have? I can write a whole list of things I'm thankful for but for now I what they are and appreciate this life I've been given. We as a nation need to change. We need to be stronger and be more positive. We need to appreciate all that we have more than ever, or it's going to bring us down..

Just a few thoughts of mine for a Monday.

Have a beautiful day!


Thursday, October 30, 2008

No Refunds On A One Way Ticket

Set aside the airbrushed faces, turn off the tube, listen to the silence.. Do you hear that? It's your thoughts. They're always there.. that's you. What you're thinking is what makes you unique. Our thoughts separate us from one another. I feel every day I'm running with the herd just to keep up with life. Then I stop and realize it's really pulling my life away. We're such individuals and it's very, very easy to lose that with the every day struggles we face. I think we're all giving up.

It's hard to grasp exactly what I want to say or what I'm getting at. I can feel it though, I feel something.. it's a scary feeling. We're losing ourselves in so many ways. We wake up every day and get so caught up with 'the herd', our every day routine that we're losing who we really are.

As a child we dreamt so big because we knew nothing of what the world offers. It was as if someone opened the doors to a never ending candy shop and said .. 'pick whatever you like, what's your favorite candy?'. So there we sat saying, I like this.. I love that.. no no that's what I want (metaphorically speaking, what we want to be in life). Not once did anyone say the shop eventually closes and whatever items sit on the top shelf unfortunately, I can't help you reach.

So we go through life not necessarily worrying or preparing us for what's to come. Elementary school, easy, fun, non-stressful years of valentine cards, yummy projects, vocab consisting of 5 letter words, leaf piles, recess, milk money in an envelope.. now it's paychecks which we're lucky enough if we can afford milk! Middle School, what torture! Everyone is trying to grab on to anyone to be their friend and just fit in with the ones that everyone seems to love. Of course those end up being the ones people dispise later on in life. They're trying to prepare you for High School and what the assignments will be like. I'm glad I learned the proper technique of writing a 'works cited' page. Then there is High School, the years people seem to have hated but look back on wishing they could live over. I loved High School, every minute of it. Going from seeing everyone I cared about every day to barely having time to meet up for dinner/drinks. It's a shame what time does to us.

Getting back on topic, which I'm not quite sure the appropriate topic here.. those are the years that truly made us who we are. Those are the years we made mistakes in which helped us be mature and strong individuals. What happened?

We are just following the herd. I can't get enough of that expression. It's this fast force which seems difficult to break away from. I just don't want so much time to pass bye and we're 60 before we realize what's happened. If only we could all be millionaires and enjoy all the beauty in the world. Isn't this why everything has been created? Trees, waterfalls, the sun, exotic beaches, amazing mountains, never ending rivers. Then how come life has lead us to be working all the time, struggling, stressing, sucking the passion of life out of us?

Wish I had answers to all of my questions, but then again I wouldn't have asked them. Just venting and I thank you for listening.

I love you all very much!

Sunday, October 5, 2008

Calling the Energizer Bunny

Bonsoir mi amigos! Haha.. a little spanish with a french twist there, what a beautiful combination.

So let me ask everyone where does your energy come from? What makes up your energy? How does your body not want to lay down after standing for 10 seconds? I've been researching for so long. It's amazing how I went from having insomnia for 3 yrs in High School and now constantly craving.. needing sleep. Perhaps it's catching up with me, maybe I'm making up for old times haha.

I neglect to take vitamins.. stopped exercising.. what's healthy food?.. my bed is becoming my best friend.. I slouch.. forget about picking up the pen I dropped.. SHAME ON ME!

I do know the answers or should I say underlining reasons for my consistent and everyday growing laziness.

Slouching plays such a huge part I really believe. Work with me here.. sit up straight for 10 seconds. Don't you feel so much more awake? It might be because your mind is trying to 'think' and control your back to hold your head up straight. Then slowly without knowing it your body just falls back into stinky, slouch mode! I think I might need to get a back brace, similar to Forrest Gump's leg braces. It worked for him!

Exercising.. oh god I could go on and on. 2 winters ago my lovely, beautiful cousin and I decided to join a gym. Sidenote: they are still taking payments out of my account because I haven't found the time to go down and cancel my membership. They are making money off someone who hasn't set foot in their gym in over a year. How insane is that? SHAME ON ME!> We went as much as we could but then slowly we lost the motivation. There are so many things I can do in my own home, but why is it so hard to start and when I do.. how come I give up? I think we all need to be beaten with a whip just enough so we get a schedule together and stick to it. Maybe I can build a robotic machine that can slap my butt in gear. I'll work on it and let you know once it's been patented.

Vitamins, a.k.a. enormous horse pills. I can't swallow those bad boys! I have enough trouble with motrin pills in which someone needs to be close bye so I can grab their hand during the process. Thank you to Charlie, Kelly, my parents for always giving me their hand when those times approached, lol. Chewables I had tried on many occasions, but I didn't get much of an affect. They are very important and I know they do play a very important role with the body growing and being energized. I just can't swallow them! For the love of God please make multivitamins as small as tic-tac.

Google->'How to increase your energy'-> I'm feeling lucky! Throughout my continuing research of this topic I've come across many intriguing suggestions. One that sticks in my mind is spend one day of the month in complete silence. Is this possible? I know when we're sick it's easy to do that by trapping yourself in the room all day. Do you think reading is allowed? I would really love to do this and I'm going to plan my schedule out so this can happen. I feel this would be a great idea for everyone. :)

I hope you all have had one fabulous weekend! I love you all very much -

Catch you on the flipside

Sunday, September 28, 2008

A penny for your slots?

I know it's quite late; however, after writing the previous post I find it very necessary to follow up with a happy ending :) Let me set the scene. September 27th, Saturday the year is 2008 and I'm venturing to Mohegan Sun with my parents. I love those free concerts at the Wolfden, ever been? They're FREE, how can you not love them? Who cares if it's a Mexican band playing some cute little wind pipes, flutes, moroccas (spelling?) and you can't understand a word they're saying.. it's free. Or a fabulous cover band maybe for the symbol formulary known as 'Prince'. That's not who we saw, but I just wanted to give you some examples. We planned this trip, Leslie Gore! She sang 'It's my party and I can cry if I want to'. I'm sure you know who she is now, as you just sung that out loud.. I know you did or maybe hummed it. I know Richard Simmons danced to it on the commercial clips to his show. What ever happened to him?

Back to the story, my night with my parents at Mohegan Sun Casino. My father wanted to wait in line and let my mother and I walk around and lose our money. He's got this amazing personality where he can make friends with anyone, anywhere. This guy could get lost in the Projects and come out with 5 best friends and 2 autographs lol. I'm serious! My mom and I played a bunch of machines.. I keep telling myself I won $31 when in reality I had lost $14 LOL. My mom just kept playing until her money she put in the slots was gone. Neither of us really know what we're doing anyways, does anyone? We went back to wait in line with my dad who had already befriended this cute little old phillipino woman named 'Lucy'. She is from Chicopee, MA and took the bus with her friend 'Ricky' to the Casino. 'Can you believe we only paid $30 both ways and it includes the buffet, what a deal!' She was so cute and must have told us that atleast 3x. They ended up sitting with us at a table for 6. A strange man who never talked/looked at any one of us once sat in the 6th chair. He was SO friendly that he pulled the chair far out so he wasn't even touching our table. He was on his own island.. what a VERY friendly man, lol.

Back to 'Lucy and Ricky', they met 10 yrs ago, are not married to one another as they have both previously been divorced.. they live in the same building but have separate apartments. 'It works for us' she said! I asked 'Lucy' so many questions and within 1 hr I felt I had know her my whole life. She of course in turn asked me a million questions and of course repeated most of them :) She was very sweet. Before leaving she asked for me to take her number so if Charlie, my parents and I (yes she now knows him through conversation though he was not there tonight, lol) ever decide to visit the Hukilau Restaurant in MA to call her beforehand. They love to go there and 'Ricky' will sing Karaoke for me. They were by far two of the most interesting people I have ever met. Had my plans have been different tonight.. I would have never met them. This cute little old (when I say old roughly early 60's) truly added to the enjoyable evening we had.

I could honestly go on and tell you every detail of the conversation; however, it's late and I'm quite sleepy. Every individual we meet in life, whether it be a quick hello or a long deep life changing conversation has already helped to send us in a new direction. I'm not sure what tomorrow will bring now, as I wasn't quite sure even before I went to the Casino tonight. I know my life is different, I know it's changed. When I breath the air seems a little more pure.

Love you all, good night. Take it all in, every second. Take in tomorrow :)


Saturday, September 27, 2008

I seen you walkin' down in Chinatown

Assalomu alaikum!

So it may not be 4 years; however, from my last post (my first post) I seemed to have misplaced my motivation. Here I am at 3 minutes past midnight and it snuck up on me like a little mosquito! What a night I had (which I'll follow up with a separate post), but for now I am going to back track a little if you don't mind.

The surgery back in June went as well as it could have. The newest of masses were both benign. The larger one was removed, while the Dr decided to leave the smaller one in there. I wish I could have had a say in it, since he made the decision shortly after knocking me out with the poisonous yet delicate gas, lol. In all honesty, I was very upset at first; however, since the second mass was not close to the larger one they would have had to make a separate incision. Perhaps in 6 months or so it will grow in size and cause pain and will need to be removed.. but that'll be another blog for another day. I can't be too upset as I am extremely happy that everything turned out great. It could have been worse, right? That's such a great saying..

I'll place that a side and let me pull out the latest. I've been introduced to painful little cysts inside my right ovary and a ruptured one in the left. For those who have had it, I'm so sorry that you ever had to go through that. Anyone who has not and maybe had kidney stones.. they catergorize as the same pain. It's unbelievable how our bodies have a mind of their own, does that seriously make any sense?

So.. along the way I've had to switch Drs. Let me just say good.. no GREAT Dr's are very hard to come by. If ever you feel slightly uncertain or unhappy with a physician, switch! It seems to be a hastle at first, but believe me you'll be so much happier and secure in the end. This is your health and your life that some stranger is in charge of so be as picky as possible. Needless to say yes I had to find a great OBGYN and she's AMAZING!

Now.. I'm at a bit of a road block; however, I have an appt in a few weeks which will hopefully supply me with more answers and helpful information to move forward. I'll try and keep you updated throughout this crazy journey. I don't know what other female part of my body is not distorted, because it feels I've been cursed everywhere. Oy vey!

With all of that said I'm trying to make myself as healthy as possible. I figure I have no control over the uncontrollable so why not do everything I can do right? If I can watch what I put inside of my body, that helps. I've gone a week without biting my nails, LOL. Hey it's an addiction which is unhealthy so that is on my oh so very very long checklist! Are there things you would like to change in your life that you tell yourself over and over again but can't quite stay with it? A list is pretty cool, it kind of is there to smack you in the ass every so often and say.. 'hey remember me? i'm what you don't want to do.. did you forget about me that quickly?'.. If there are things you want to change and need someone to motivate you or just check up on you every so often, let me know. I would absolutely lovvvve to help :)

I love you all so much :) KT

Friday, June 6, 2008

Putting the spring back into my step!

Selamat Malam! For those who do not know (I am one of them) that means evening in Indonesian. I haven't blogged in over 4 years so I decide let's make a new start.. a fresh start. I never know how to begin an entry, it always began with a quick HEL-LO (please make sure when you read hello you're adding the emphasis as Chandler Bing would raising the HEL to a higher pitch than the LO) it sounds way cooler. So the beginning of every entry will stay the same, but there is such a huge variety of greetings out there and I am choosing to learn them all. I may not be able to pronounce Selamat Malam but it's so unique!

So why am I writing yet again after all of these years? Why now, at this very moment.. tonight having an extremely terrible head ache that I can't take anything for? I have always wanted to and I will say right now my inspiration is Matthew Lardie, my longest friend :) His writing is amazing and I will never compare, but thank you Matt whether you know it or not for bringing this part of me out of me again!

The timing is perfect. I have my surgery next week and I'm shaking in my socks (I don't wear socks) but at this moment I have no boots on and have absolutely nothing else to be shaking in. Knots are in my stomach and I always felt writing was quite therapeutic. So back tracking, my headache.. my terrible, no good, disgusting, pounding headache. You MUST know the kind I'm talking about? I cannot take anything for, because 7 days prior to surgery you need to be off medications, something to do with blood, overbleeding perhaps dying who knows. I guess the reasons are legit, lol. I am looking forward to writing days after my surgery while I'm on my pain medications. We'll see what wonderful ideas pop into my head!

Currently in my life there are so many things going on, good.. bad.. but overall I can't complain. I do love life and everyone in it. I need to set new goals and the ones I've already made I need to get my butt going! I ask alot of questions when I write.. and as you read feel free to answer outloud. I will never here you, and it's okay.. just don't think I'm crazy for asking!

I will say this is a 'decent' jump back into the world of blogging. I wouldn't give myself a 9 nor an 8 out of 1-10, but it's okay. With all of my thoughts flowing.. there's more to come.

Catch you on the flipside loves!
Good night & love you all so much! KT