Tuesday, December 29, 2015

Moms, You Are Doing A Great Job

As I sit here realizing there are 2 more days left of 2015 I'm thinking back to this past year. Where was I one year ago? 

Autumn was a little over a month. Her months as she grew is basically how I decipher time. A year ago I was having a panic attack nervous breakdown going back to work. She wasn't even 8 weeks yet. Autumn was always crying when she fed (which I was nursing). I felt something was wrong with me, and then I realized something wasn't right with her. I was doing everything by the book with nursing, I was watching what I ate. Her latch was great. Asking everyone and anyone I knew who was nursing if they were going through the same thing. I even took videos of her nursing and how she reacted to send to other moms. I can't tell you how heartbreaking it is when others say "My baby doesn't do that..".. Then there were Moms I found struggling with the same thing. When we finally found out she had Reflux, even though I didn't want her in pain, there was a weight lifted. Just knowing what the "what" was and then the "how" we're going to treat this was already leading us in a better place than we were. 

Those days that turned into months of the struggle with her Reflux left me extremely weak as a Mother. That incredible strength and empowerment I had delivering her was gone. It left me with insecurities, no confidence and I kept myself shut away in our home. I timed any outings so no one could see her nurse. I didn't want anyone seeing her cry. Why? Because of the reactions I received. 
"Why is she crying".. 
"She's always crying.." ... 
"She must have colic".. 
"Your baby has colic"...
"She's hungry" ... 
"Is she getting enough"
"Babies don't cry like that"
"Maybe you should stop nursing.."... 
"If it's this hard then maybe nursing isn't the best option.."
... I could go on.. but I think you get the idea..

For anyone reading this that may realize they have said any of those to someone at some point. Or perhaps, it's thoughts that go through your mind but you never say. There's something I would love to share which will honestly help any mother, whatever their struggle is at anytime. Instead of negative feedback even though it's coming from a good place, or anything that may knock a mother down deeper than they are... just hug them and say ...
.."You are doing a great job. You are strong. I am here for you".

I can't begin to start writing about all of the times I did hear that, how much better it made that obstacle I was facing. I had an incredible support system. Reflux is not the end of the world, I know. I also know there are many other ailments that babies deal with that require extensive treatments. But when you're a new Mom and this is all you know, it's very difficult. You know what... we got through it. I'm fortunate enough now to be able to help others going through this as well.  

I wanted to share this because that's where I was 1 year ago and now as 2015 ends I feel like I could handle just about anything that comes our way. I want to help other new Moms because there are not enough books that could begin to tell you how this all play out. I still have doubts don't get me wrong, and question my parenting or second guess too often, but I know I'm right up there with all you Super Moms. You are ALL Super Moms and inspire me every day! Kudos to you all and I hope you know that! 

                You are doing a great job. You are strong and will forever be. I am here for you


Thursday, December 3, 2015


I lay here writing after what has been a bit of an emotional day. Thinking back to all of the moments that unfolded today there's one special moment that sticks in my mind from this evening. 

Let me set the scene so you can picture it all in your mind...

I'm standing in the kitchen after returning from the store with supplies to make a magnetic board that can stay on our fridge that is stainless steel. I cut it just right and as I asked Charlie to keep Autumn occupied in the living room while I mastered this DIY Project, I said out loud "this fridge is soo dirty!". I opened up the cabinet after wrestling with our new childproof locks to grab the cleaner for our appliances. I then tore 2 pieces of a the paper towel rolls, because let's be serious.. one is never enough?

I was leaning down, seconds away from spraying.. when I caught the reflection just perfectly on the lower part of the fridge. This is the portion of the fridge where Autumn can reach. This is where it's "dirty". But you know what? It's not dirty. It's her toddler baby fingerprints. I'm staring at the highest level she can reach in her world, where she all day pushes the fridge door closed for us when we open it. I'm staring at her little fingerprints when she puts both of her hands against it and roars like a lion at the door in the blurred reflection that maybe she sees of herself. I'm staring down at Autumn looking right back up at me as I make dinner, with one little hand on the fridge, leaning like she's waiting for my delicious cooking (hold the laughter). I'm staring at her teenie, tiny, little prints that she left behind of her baby days..

What did I do? I put the the cleaner away.. and the two paper towels for another day. I know if I wiped them away tonight they'll be back tomorrow. I know that..  But tonight, I just need one more day. One more day to see those little fingerprints from today. Don't we all?

Next time you're about to wash those little surfaces that your babies just can't keep their hands away from, take a moment to enjoy the true moments that created those little fingerprints.