Monday, November 29, 2010

'Life's too short'..

I heart Audrey Hepburn because her cute style and especially her sweet words that are easy for me to understand. This is my favorite quote of hers and would love to share before I begin...

"I believe in pink. I believe that laughing is the best calorie burner. I believe in kissing, kissing a lot. I believe in being strong when everything seems to be going wrong. I believe that happy girls are the prettiest girls. I believe that tomorrow is another day and I believe in miracles." 

 I felt that was the perfect start to this entry. There was a very sad loss yesterday, a wonderful, beautiful, intelligent woman loved by all who knew her.. who left too soon. I remember a quote that I think of often when someone passes away at a young age. "I'm going to live ,just not as long as you.." It breaks my heart to think of her family that she leaves and all of her close friends. It was a very quiet day at work today as she was in all of our minds. We all wore purple ribbons and when I walked around seeing everyone it made me smile, it really is like a family and we all shared something that brought us together. She brought us all together..

I was talking to a co-worker about how my family spent Thanksgiving and of course I mentioned Christmas. As I joked about family feuds and the grudges people are holding because laughter is the only way I can keep from crying when I think of my relatives he said 'Life's too short' and pointed to the purple ribbon pinned to his chest. He's right, it really is. There we are all walking today remembering a life, which was so delicate.

I'm okay with turning the other cheek as long as I'm not feeling any pain. I'm also fine with smiling at someone that may have hurt me in the past because I know how to forgive. If I held a grudge against everyone who has hurt me as well others holding one against me I may be a very lonely person. That is not how I choose to live life. It's okay to be careful around those you may not trust but don't be angry. Don't spend your days being hateful, thinking you're right with all of your actions and you've never made a mistake. I'm sure if we all sat down and put a list together of our actions that could have hurt others it may be long enough to make an encyclopedia edition! If you took that list and compared it to the people that may have been hurt by your actions we would also see how many forgave us.

'Life's too short'.. embrace life, don't rush it. I try my hardest to make those around me feel loved. I make sure to leave them with a hug and letting them know that I love them because you really just never know. I'm honest and open and welcome forgiveness into my life.

I ask all of you that you hug your loved ones a little tighter next time. Leave them feeling good with compliments and spreading the love!

I love you all,

I love my cousins..  they rock!

 Even cats know how to fight and make up..

Hugs from The King..

Frankie says 'Relax'.... 

I love my cousin, Kenny who had a chalkphobia but still shimmied this together :)

Sunday, November 28, 2010

Blog Hop with Katie!

Hello you beautiful people!

This is my first time ever attempting to put together a blog hop! I hope this works. I'm sure most of you understand how it works. If not, it's pretty simple. Click on the option to share your link. It'll ask for you to shimmy together a description of your blog as well leave the website/link. This is a great way for others to find more friends that enjoy writing as much as you do!

Spread the word by pasting my 'button' if you can and thanks for being apart of this! ;)

I also would like to share one of my best friend's page as well. Please share the love with her too!

Is it okay to be selfish sometimes?

I worry too much. There, I said it. The question I asked myself today is.. 'What am I worried about?' The answer was ...everyone else. I realized that I need to worry about me. Yes I sure did say the me word. The word we always shy away from because we don't want to sound too conceited patting ourselves on the back, or bragging about something we accomplished or causing anyone stress venting about our problems. It's become so frowned upon. Others judge us when we talk about ourselves so instead we don't and what happens? We spend our lives talking about others, worrying about them, getting too involved in their personal lives that we neglect the one most important person in our individual lives, ourselves. Or you can say out loud ME!

I ignore compliments because I'm too insecure with myself so I think others are just being nice. In a way maybe I don't want to believe the compliments because then someone will think it'll go to my head or I'm not deserving of having such nice qualities. Either way, I'm ready to focus on me. Before I can carry others burdens and worry about them I have to go back to my roots. I put an actual list together because I felt like writing with a red marker on Christmas paper. Call me sappy and in the spirit ;) I wanted to share this with everyone because it felt so good to sit down and think only about myself. Maybe it'll help you too! I know it's a small list, believe me I have so much going on with me but I just wanted to jot down a few thoughts.

I think it's okay to be selfish. I never really said that before, but I honestly think it's true. We can't take on too much because we have too much of our own burdens we're carrying that probably weigh a ton! I hope you take time this week to worry about YOU (me) ;) !

Love always,

Saturday, November 27, 2010

"It only takes 5 minutes.."

Yesterday I spent time with some wonderful people. Two women who are very inspirational to me that I see everyday at work and then I got to catch up with a beautiful friend of mine that means the world to me and I feel she understands certain things about my life that others don't. Overall, it was a great day that I am sitting comfortable knowing it happened.

There was a discussion earlier yesterday with one of my friends about talking on the telephone. It made me think back to when I was in High School. I could talk on the phone everyday all day. I honestly couldn't imagine what things I had to keep a conversation going as I've grown I feel I don't have anything interesting to say on the telephone. I'm not sure when it stopped but at some point the phone became my enemy and I slowly fell into 'the evil trap'.

'The evil trap'.. I like to consider when you stop returning phone calls, you avoid picking up the phone, you promise to call and never do, you don't just out of the blue call people because you're thinking of them. Now I know this sounds awful and I know I'm not an awful person. I just started living this life where the phone was my enemy, no idea why and I can't for the life of me figure out how it started. Either way I feel I lost touch with wonderful friends in my life all because I didn't return phone calls and that's not a good thing at all.

I feel that over the last year I got better, maybe it's because I no longer work in a Call Center (yikes) where I was getting verbally abused day after day. I can't use that as an excuse because 'the evil trap' was happening prior to my job.

So going back to the conversation with my dear friend yesterday. She has such a great heart and cares about everyone around her and worries and loves with all she has. She was telling us how she could be in the middle chores, vaccumming, cleaning, and when someone pops into her head that she hasn't talked to in the while she thinks to herself.. I can take 5 minutes just to pick up the phone, call them and see how they're doing. That hit me hard, really hard. I know that I have 5 minutes several times throughout my day to pick up the phone and return a call or just reach out to a family or friend I may have lost touch with. It could makes someone's day, right?

Why be so scared of the telephone? I don't know, I really don't. I can say that I am going to overcome looking at 'the evil trap' as some obstacle that I just rather avoid. Not anymore, I'm going to be better and when I think of someone I'll then ask myself... "can I just take 5 minutes to call them up to let them know that I'm thinking of them and ask how they're doing?" We all have 5 minutes.. If you think of the life we've lived and all those wasted minutes of sitting in front of the tube (guilty) or walking around the kitchen trying to find something to eat.. maybe walking the dog.. You could call up someone you love.

Here's to taking 5 minutes...... ;)

Love you all,
Kate xoxo

I had to update this post after a friend of mine shared a song with me that she said my post reminded her of. I never heard the song before and it gave my chills. If you are looking to listen to a beautiful, inspiring, cute country tune watch this.... The Call - Matt Kennon

Friday, November 26, 2010

Oh you little consistent Traditions!

Happy Black Friday! Very happy to announce that I am cozy in bed still at 10:00 in the morning and did not venture out to the 'unknown world' today. I do admire how daring many of you are that put together a game plan and got in and out pretty smoothly. Hope you all got some great sales!

I wanted to talk about Traditions: a long-established or inherited way of thinking or acting. It's that time of year and prior to yesterday I'm sure everyone was running around trying to visit or put together meals that they have year after year. I always felt Holidays were set in stone, the same thing, almost like a happy curse that cannot be broken. However, as life changes we change and unfortunately wait for it... traditions do as well. 

There could be certain events that cause traditions to change. Just to name a few.. divorces, feuds, people moving away, breakups, deaths and illnesses. It's not necessary good reasons why traditions change but what comes of the change can be positive. Remember that change is not a terrible thing! I've learned to embrace change as hard as it's been for me because I know that I can't stop it. We can't have control over everything out there especially people.

Christmas is my favorite Holiday, hands down. When I look back to the earliest memories of my life Christmas was so beautiful filled with so much family my grandparents especially. Once they passed on it seemed that people try so hard to keep the tradition alive but it's not the same. I know that in years to come what once was a regular tradition will have slowly dwindled away and a new tradition will be. I'm finally okay with that. 

We had a wonderful Thanksgiving yesterday. My mom has cooked everywhere since I could remember and she always makes a beautiful meal and puts her all into it. This year she left her oven off and we shared a lunch with my sister's boyfriends family. They are very loving, welcoming and we felt like family with them. We then made our way to my boyfriend's sister's house who had her first Thanksgiving in her new, unbelievably gorgeous home! We of course were welcomed by their family as well. Perhaps, we'll be doing the same thing next year or maybe have it at our house. Either way, it was a new tradition and we drove home last night talking about the wonderful people we met and how great of a day we had. 

"The key to change is to let go of fear" I know we want things to be the same because some memories can be so amazing that we may feel that things will go to hell if they change. I do believe everything happens for a reason. Be open to change and don't worry if things aren't panning out the way you feel they should. It'll be okay.

With all my love,

Tuesday, November 23, 2010

Do it! I double dare you..

A handshake is the act of grasping and shaking a person's hand, as when being introduced or agreeing on a deal. I am not a fan of the handshaking concept. Number one, I have a very awkard handshake. I used to practice before going places in relation to work. I rather give a high five. When you analyze it, it really is strange! You're locking hands and it's too formal, almost fake. I don't like it. Very rarely will I shake a hand.

So what am I? I'm a hugger, big time! I love hugs. That's pretty much my reaction after we are introduced. Hugging is so meaningful to me. It's saying through a gesture that you are special, you are important, you are needed.. I appreciate you being here right now.. I appreciated you being there before.. I'm glad you are alive.. and most of all it's saying thank you, I love you. I know a lot of people hug when they're leaving one another. What I just described though, they all fit into that category. You're not just saying goodbye but you mean all of those things as well.

I dare you tomorrow, the day after and/or all week to hug. If you're not a huggy feely kind of person.. well I think it's time to get over it! ;)  If you have children raise them to hug and love. The worst thing is for people to feel uncomfortable hugging, it shouldn't be that way. It's such a meaningful gesture. I think it brings peace to the world and those around us. It makes us feel loved. You will not believe what one hug can do. Someone having a bad day, just ask do you need a hug? I know me, I'm the first to jump up and say 'yes.. I do!".

It's late, go hug your family, your dog, cat, etc... I hope that a chain reaction comes of this :)

Love you all

Monday, November 22, 2010

Would you like to dance around the world with me..

I'm sure that all of you have either been in love, are in love or will be in love. Actually there can be an'and/or' instead of the lonely 'or' in that first sentence. Some people fall in love easily while others are very hesitant, either way the end result is love.. which happens to be my favorite word!

I can't tell you the exact year, trust me.. it's something I should know but I don't. I would have to say 13 yrs ago is when this all began. I was in my room in the fall with the windows opened. In my mind remembering the time I was cleaning but for most people who know me I hate cleaning.. so we'll just say I was listening to music and taking in the fresh air ;) I heard a car driving down the road and looked out the window to see it park directly in front of our house. We lived in a split family house and my Aunt/Uncle and little cousin lived next door. I never saw that car before so of course I was interested to see who it was and where they were going. I laid on my bed and pulled my curtains down to be a little more sneaky. Of course the other window still had the blinds up but that wasn't something that even came to my mind.

There the door opens and this guy gets out who I never saw before. He turns around facing his car, shutting the door and looking at the house. I could feel my eyes getting wider when I saw this gorgeous guy looking at MY house? Who was he here for? Me? Is this a present for me? My heart was racing because I never saw someone so beautiful. He began to walk towards the driveway, I ran downstairs so fast that I remember almost slipping halfway down. I peaked out the window in my dining room thinking he would come in the front porch but I could see his head through the window going towards the back. I then ran to the back door hunched over hoping he wouldn't see me. He walked up on the back porch and of course... he was knocking on the door next door. I had to get a closer look so I peeled up the curtain praying he wouldn't see me. I remember my hand was shaking. He was even more beautiful up close than what I saw from my bedroom window. This guy had the most beautiful blue eyes I had ever seen and then.. he smiled. Oh, sadly it wasn't at me. Clearly, someone opened the door at my Uncle's house but I saw him smile.

From that day on I would ask about this mystery guy and come to find out he worked with my Uncle. They became best friends and this guy spent many evenings at next door. He eventually got to know the family and showed up at gatherings. A few years later this guy asked me out on a date, it was my 17th Birthday. We've been dating since. Oh how I love Charlie, the beautiful blue eyed and most intelligent man I know.

I love this man <3


A little touch of love for the Holidays

I want to decorate for Christmas.. right now :) I'd love Charlie to pull out the Christmas tree and we'll dazzle it all up. I'm itching for decor around our home. The other day at the store I bought some Holiday ribbon. I had an idea of just adding a few touches of my favorite Holiday to help ease my way into the season. Here are some pictures. It's a great idea if you wanted to do a few small decorations that cost very, very little. You may even have old ribbon.. golds, greens, blues, reds and/or whites! Maybe you even having pretty old wrapping paper that you can wrap the pictures on the walls with and add a bow. You can wrap up a few end tables. Hope you like my pretty flare I added to our Living Room today!

I bought only a few colours of ribbon

 I took the ribbon and wrapped it around a marker, because it's wired ribbon. You could use anything.  (Hey check those nails!! Someone stopped biting them... hint hint)
I wrapped the ribbon around the vase with faux flowers ;)

 Adding a little Christmas flare to the kitchen ;)
 More vases!
 The touch of candles and ribbon on the coffee table. I just slid the ends under the glass.
If you don't like candles because of the smell, buy some unscented tealights!
A little extras ;)

I of course have much more decorating to you but I'm definitely pumped for the Holidays!

Love you all,

Sunday, November 21, 2010

The Cat with 20 lives..

I was sitting here thinking up all the things I'm thankful for at this point in my life and believe me there are so many. I do however have to step back and think of this past year and what we almost lost but didn't. Let's go even further back before I go on. When Charlie and I were looking for an apartment 5 years ago we discussed our future and of course I brought up 'Peanut' (who only existed in thought at the time). We talked about not getting a dog while we were going to live an apartment and I was okay with that. We found an apartment that we would move in on New Year's Eve. Yes, we moved into our house on Halloween, we're big on making changes on the Holidays ;) .. My Aunt contacted us telling us how she found these two newborn kitties in her yard of all days during a snowstorm. She took them in and asked if we wanted one. Charlie and I thought about it and turned down the offer. We just weren't into having a cat.

We then went over there to fix her computer. Well not 'we'.. when I say we.. I mean Charlie was fixing the computer while I just sat playing with the two kittens. Immediately, I was drawn to the one with the round belly and pointy tail. I fell in love, so did Charlie. My Aunt asked again if we were sure we didn't want a cat and our opinion of the idea changed. We decided to take the cute little one with the round belly.. and pointy tail. We then began the new adventure of living together for the first time in our apartment with our kitty which we named, Nevan (meaning: Holy little Saint). He became our baby, sleeping in between us every night more like a puppy than a cat. Everyone who has met Nevan tend to say "I'm not a cat person but if I could have one I'd want my cat to be just like Nevan'.. he's quite the little man.

Last June I went down to NC on my own to visit one of my best friends. It was a great trip. I returned a Sunday night to find Nevan in the bathtub very sick. Charlie and I the next day brought him to the vet in which they said he had a bladder infection and it could get pretty bad. They sent us on our way (with Nevan) and medicines. Needless to say over the next 24 hrs Nevan got worse. Come to find out he had a blockage in which his blood got poisoned from the infection. It was awful. We were standing in the room at the Vet while they immediately scooped Nevan from us rushing him in the backroom. Yes, it was that dramatic. We remained there for quite a while very emotional not knowing what was going on. They explained that he was in critical condition, everything was dropping, and at this point in tim e they were just going to make him as comfortable as possible. I couldn't stop crying, Charlie just held me. Not our baby, he's only 4 years old.. He's still young, we're not supposed to be making this decision now.

Nevan was quite the fighter, the Vet was shocked to go back to see his heartbeat coming back slowly to normal. Long story short he survived. Here's a few pictures of our big baby. It's now November and he's doing so well!

Visiting Nevan at the ER where he was for 4 days.

Nevan after a bath. He's gotten used to them!

No idea about the flashlight!

My favorite photo of him.

Nevan and Minnie, love bugs.

I am thankful for Nevan holding on and making it through a near death experience! He knows he has too good of a thing here to give it up :)

Love you all,

Day 30 → A letter to yourself, tell yourself EVERYTHING you love about yourself

The day has come. I began the 30 Days of Truth in October thinking I would complete it before Halloween. If you are taking a peak at your calendars, I know.. Halloween was a little time ago. I really enjoyed this adventure as I tried extending it as long as possible. It's time though to put it away and close this chapter. I challenge anyone to try this. I have a link at the top of the page listing each day and what you need to write about. I recommend not reading all of the days and if you are willing to be open with yourself and others, go for it. You can also try it on your own and do not share with others. Either way, I promise it's very therapeutic. You will learn about yourself. You'll open up some memories you tried to keep hidden but sometimes you need those reminders to beable to move on. I've worked with myself to get past some tough obstacles just by writing. I honestly, recommend anyone to try it. If you do decide to take on the challenge and need help please let me know!

Dear Katie,

I do love you even though I'm  constantly criticizing your little flaws. They are indeed what makes you, you. Your freckles are perfectly resting in various spots on your face and arms, legs and shoulders.. I love your green eyes and the freckles that made their way there as well. You are Irish so be proud of that as your ancestors were. So you're small, I love that too. Maybe you can't reach the top shelves in the cabinets and still need to climb on the counters. So what if you have to jump up in the aisles at the stores to knock something down with everyone looking, you do it so gracefully! That's why they make heels. You take after your Memere with her petite size, that's a gift. I love how you cry when you're watching the news and a sad report is being broadcasted. You have a big heart and clearly can care about anyone even if you don't know them. I love your soul and how you give everything you have to try to make others happy and hope that your inspiration can help turn their lives around. I love that you smile at strangers and it makes your day when they return the gesture. I love that you hug everyone you know as well new people you meet. I know that started because you have an akward handshake and don't feel that's personal, it's okay. Hugs make a a true difference. I love how open you are because just by expressing some feelings or a few stories you have brought people together that feel the same way. It makes others feel it's okay to think the way they do or an excuse to cry or laugh when others may not feel it's the right time. I love your patience with others. Too often people are waiting in line huffing and puffing because someone is taking too long. It's okay to take a deep breath and take your time in life, why rush it? The end result of life is not fun and patience is the key to being happy.

I love so many things about you so I'm truly sorry from the bottom of my heart that when we look in the mirror my first thoughts are negative. I will continue to skip that step and to focus on all the beautiful qualities inside and out that you possess.

Goodbye 30 Days of Truth, until we meet again. I would like to try this in a few years to see what has changed from when I began this journey!

Yours truly
Katie ;)

Write a blog, share a blog & be friends!

Aloha and Happy Sunday to everyone out there! I'm  fairly new in the world of blog hopping.  I love it though and have come across some other very inspiring, fun and amazing writers. I wanted to share what I have found. It's pretty interesting knowing that there is someone (could be many) that relates to you in someway. I have gotten feedback from so many people that share some of the same passions and interests as I do or just enjoy reading what I put out there. I'd like to consider myself a very open person yet it does take alot to write some of the things I have share. I wanted to take a few moments to share with you old and new friends that like to write as well. Something may spark an interest and perhaps bring you together!

One of my best friends began a blog as she is a new to being a mom and quite the FABULOUS mommy she is! She shares experiences and also looks for feedback from others who are parents to help her learn along the way. If you are a parent or will become a parent shimmy on over there because she always has fun posts. You may take something from it or else help contribute to the world of being a parent!

Another very wonderful friend of mine is truly inspiring. The 30 Days of Truth that I have been working on the last few months was all because she started it. She's full of life with a beautiful soul. If you enjoy my blog I think you will also love what she writes about to. Take a peak!

One of my lovely friends who lives on the west coast has a gorgeous blog that shows off some cute fashion ideas. She includes great detail from the cost of shoes to accessories as well makeup ideas. You'll love it!

Below are some of my new friends I"ve discovered or they have found me! I'm still learning alot about them through their writings and truly enjoy everything so far. If you can please take some time to show support!! :) *Amazing parents and their stories. *An inspiring, happy & outgoing writer! *Save $$ *Fabulous gift ideas! *Inspiring! *Cute pictures and stories!  *She always has such beautiful quotes! *After reading you will want to buy a plane ticket! *If you enjoy shopping, check her out! *Living & Loving! *Mommy life! *Always yummy ideas and pictures! *Great way to learn about the blogworld, share and make friends! *Great decorative ideas!

I will continue to add to this list so please leave a comment if you're a new follower with your site! :)

Love always always alwaaaays!

Saturday, November 20, 2010

Movies sure can move you..

It's a Saturday night and I'm completely content with staying in while cuddling up with the pup on the couch, glass of wine, favorite chips, warm blanket and of course one of my favorite movies of all time.. Breakfast at Tiffany's. Oh how I love this movie, Cat, the crazy, rich and drunk men that Audrey Hepburn meets, Mickey Rooney yelling like a mad man and the ever so handsome George Peppard! There's so much about this flick that I have just fallen in love with over and over each time I watch it. Audrey Hepburn is so classy and elegant and I admire her. She always reminded me of my Memere, who was petite, beautiful and as well very elegant.. in my eyes.

My other top favorites are .. Standby Me and It's a Wonderful Life. Do you have a favorite that has inspired you in some way? Perhaps, there is some significance in the movie maybe because of where you were in your life when you watched it or with a special person?

There is this movie that I always loved which means alot to me. I would not consider it as one of my favorites but it fits into the category of where I was at the time I watched it. It may sound silly but 'The Little Mermaid' was it. When I was young.. and when I say young I mean 5-6 years old my Papa who I've mentioned in previous entires was diagnosed with cancer but we were able to have him in our lives a little longer than they expected. One night in the summer my sister and I were laying in our living room watching 'The Littler Mermaid'. I remember laying on the smaller couch and my sister on the other. I always sang along and of course those were always my favorite parts. The lights were off in the room as we were glued to the brightness coming out of the Sony television. All of a sudden there were lights coming from outside the window. We had a neighbor across the street, this old man who sadly was consistently having medical problems in which we both just assumed there was an ambulance for him. As time went by my father came over from next door to let us know that Papa had passed away. I remember that moment so clearly as we both threw our faces into his stomach and cried while trying to breathe. It was the first death I truly could understand.. I was young but old enough to understand death means you will never come back again. We knew he was sick and that his last few weeks he was getting weaker but it was extremely hard.

The next thing I knew my mom told my sister and I to run upstairs and put our bathing suits on, we were both confused. One of my best friend's Mom, who was a second Mom to me.. they lived only a few houses down and had a pool. She walked over that night and brought both me and my sister to her house and we swam in her pool. I remember having the floatees on as I was a terrible swimmer. I remember crying in the water but how quiet it was outside. Joey just watched us and after a while I stopped crying, we both stopped crying. I remember there was a point that I was swimming and smiling. Joey is a special woman and I hope you're reading this because you played a huge part in that time of my life.

It's the little things in life that we appreciate. We can't regret things. I could be angry with that movie, Ariel and Sebastian. I could block out those tunes whenever I hear them and relate them to a sad time in my life. Instead I rather keep the memories, the goods and bads because we all know there's one of each in every event in our life.



Thanks for reading.. back to Breakfast at Tiffany's :)

Love always,

Thursday, November 18, 2010

These are a few of my favorite things..

On the radio there was a Christmas tune. I'm not at all upset that the ring-a-ling-aling tunes are playing, since it's my favorite time of the year. It of course always makes me a little sad though as I'm sure it does for most of you who celebrate the Holiday. It's the last month in the year so you find yourself reminicsing about all the fun times you had in the last 11 months. All those that are no longer here to share laughs, stories, presents, new memories with. For anything great in our life there is always a good and a bad. You just need to learn to appreciate both.

I'm looking through my billion of photo albums (on my computer of course). Smiling because it feels like these events just happen during the past week. I figured I would share some random moments since I absolutely LOVE taking pictures (surprised?) and I never post them in any of my entries. Take a stroll with me...

I photographed my first Wedding back in April with a wonderful, talented friend of mine Pete. I remember the morning of I felt sick to my stomach, maybe like cold feet? Once we were there and shooting away, things felt so natural and we captured one beautiful day for the Bride and Groom. You can see the pictures here: Click to view

Since I was young I had a strong love for Yorkshire Terriers. Even had a name picked out, Peanut. I begged my parents for one and even came up floor plans for my bedroom where my dog could live. Drew it all out, made a list of things I would give up and/or never ask for until the day I died. Haha, remember those days when you really wanted something? Well, it never happened atleast while I lived home. On 4/13/10 Charlie and I shimmied to the Pet Store a town over. We were going to get cat food and just walk around. I really wanted to take a puppy out and play with it. They never have Yorkies so there was no intention going there. What do I see walk up to the glass but Peanut! I knew it was him, exactly how I always imagined him to look. Cute floppy ears, teddy bear face, and loveable. Oh is he loveable! He's a licking magnet. See for yourself. This was Peanut at 3 months.. you better believe that two days later after moping around the house I went back there and scooped him up!


In June I did something unlike me. I flew on a plane without anyone I knew and went down to visit one of my longest, closest friends in North Carolina and had the time of my life. It was a different world to me and I absolutely loved it. It was a great adventure and I miss it so much. We made new friends together when we went to a kickass Farm Party. I was there when they adopted their dog Frankie who's one handsome Poodle! Below is a picture of something that amazed me my whole stay.. they have Bamboo on the side of the roads!!


There's a few happy thoughts of mine. Good night! :)


Tuesday, November 16, 2010

Day 29 → Something you hope to change about yourself. And why.

We all have flaws. Check out my Day 1 because I have a ton and may have been a little hard on myself. Those may be silly things to dislike about myself but they have a hard time going away.

My scars will always be there, but it's okay. I'm really okay with it, there's just times when I'm down on myself period and of course start getting angry about those stupid, silly flaws (in my eyes).

I stopped biting my nails and doing pretty good. That was a struggle, it still is but I'm working with myself to change into a 'non' nailbiter. They look really cute all dolled up with pink nailpolish!

There is another thing that has changed over the last few months. As many people know I've always had a strong opinion when it came to medications. I never felt like it was an answer and there has to be something else, another way to overcome obstacles. I was pretty stressed out a few months back, very stressed out. I'm talking incredibly, out of my mind stressed out. A few things happened that pushed me over the edge but weren't the main reasons.

My problem is asking for help. I never do, or should I say I very, rarely do. I guess I'm one of those people that think they can do it all on their own.. my own. It's not that I don't think anyone else can do the job I can or handle listening to my complaints I just rather not put anything more on anyone else. I don't want to be a burden.

It's something I had discussed with my Dr sometime ago and he'd always mention well you know we could do a trial on this.. or that.. (medications of course is the ... or...). I know quite a bit about medications and the ones that he mentioned I just wasn't 'diggin'. So back when I was at my low I went to my Dr with tears in my eyes and just said.. "I never ask for help, I'm forgetting to do things, my mind is completely cluttered, I'm shaking, sick to my stomach.. so here I am.. please help me.." He of course said "..well let's discuss options.. you won't take medications.. maybe you can talk to someone." I've done that before and sorry but they just never understand my language! I took the leap and left with a piece of paper with a word on there that I was 'okay' with.

Now, don't get me wrong that .... is not the answer. It hasn't solved my problems, but it has helped me. I'm not going to stay on this forever but already by losing the stress I've been able to think a little more clearly about certain things. I don't panic like I did before, and I stop before I make a decision. I'm learning more about myself.

So.. I hope to continue learning more about myself, building confidence and asking for help. It's okay to ask for help and it's also okay to look in the mirror and smile knowing you look really pretty that day.

Next time you pass bye a mirror, just stop, look in it, clothes your eyes and take a deep breath.. then look right back in the mirror into your eyes. Tell yourself "I'm an amazing, strong, individual and I look good. This is my life and I have total control"... Don't lose site of that.

Work on building yourself up which in turn will help you live a healthier life.

Love you all,

Monday, November 15, 2010

Day 28 → What if you were pregnant or got someone pregnant, what would you do?

I was just discussing yesterday how two of my best friends are going to have babies. The idea of a new life, the circle of life is really comforting. There's so much more out there than what we see in our day to day life. A baby brings so much more to the world, opens our eyes and in a way forces us to jump at new opportunities. I love children and look forward to helping my friends and being there for them as they raise their little ones. I hope that my sister and Charlie's siblings have many kids as well so I can spoil the heck out of them. The best of course is buying those little booties, stylish clothes, funny shirts with the slogan "I get my good looks from Grandpa", you know exactly which ones I'm talking about! It'll be great to have a beach day and teach them to make turtle sculptures out of sand, my favorite thing!

With all of that said, yes I was dancing around the question. What if I were pregnant? Well, if I was I would be very scared I'm sure as well happy. There should be no negative feeling when it comes to a baby as they are so innocent and they didn't plan for the mama's to get pregnant. Then again, I feel everything happens for a reason. What would I do? I would be the best Mom I know how. I would love my baby just as much as I have shown love to those around and of course much more!

My question to myself which I know the answer to is, do I want kids? The answer is no. That has shocked quite a few people in my life as I love, love love kids! I worked at camps for the majority of my teen-adult life. From ages 3-12 the kids ranged and brightened my summers. I learned so much from them as I taught them Arts and Crafts, how to play dodgeball, being nice to others and how it hurts others feelings by laughing at them. I taught tennis, and how to tie their shoes. Some I helped with reading and showed them how to colour in between the lines. We sang songs and they learned to take turns going down on the slide. I've had to bandage them up and tell them cool and funny stories while I had to pour peroxide on them praying they wouldn't cry.

I truly believe I would make a wonderful mom someday but at this time I have no desire. I'm in love with love (Charlie) and my place in life is being with him and teaching each other every day, sharing and being there for one another. When we find the time together we go on little trips and laugh, listen to music. It's been like this for over 9 years and I'm happy where I am. That's not to say if ever I did get pregnant I wouldn't be happy, I would because that would be how our lives are destined for.

There's my story. Love you all!


Sunday, November 14, 2010

Day 27 → What’s the best thing going for you right now?

I have to just say how crazy these topics are, in a good way. When I finally read the topic it somehow relates to my day or what's going on in my life my jaw drops. I was just telling Charlie today how good I feel right now about life. I'm a pretty happy person anyway, but there's somehow always something weighing me down that I'm good at hiding or stressed out about. It's normal, right? Happens to the best of us. I always so that, something good will come along.

Extraordinary things have been happening lately to so many people I love. When that happens it makes me feel great about life. That life is being good to people that really deserve happiness. I have two best friends that are expecting babies that will be absolutely beautiful gifts in their lives. These are two amazing, strong and genuine women who I love so much. I'm so happy to be apart of their lives and beable to experience the journey with them. Someone out there is watching over them and finally said.. it's their turn to be happy. This is how life should be! We experience so many crazy obstacles that bring us down so low and just keep throwing more at us thinking we can somehow handle it. Finally hope exists once again when wonderful news like this comes to light.

So the best thing that's going on for me is what is going on with people around me. What I just discussed and so much more. I have a great friend that started up sending care packages overseas to men & women fighting for our country. She's so motivated and full of love I never doubted she would succeed. Some other friends are starting the next chapters in their lives with marriage and owning their first homes.

It's your turn to be happy now. Embrace others happiness that are around you. Be happy for other people and keep your heart and arms open! Believe me, it pays off. Don't dwell and be sad telling yourself it's not fair other people are happy and things aren't working out for you. I promise they will. It's always our turn. Happiness comes from the energy around us, so absorb it!

Peace & love!

Who's a slacker? I'm the slacker!

Quite some time ago I started writing a book. Every so often I'll jump into that Microsoft Word file and type away. Other days I'll open it and beat myself up for not keeping at it. I'm pretty sure it's going to be a project that will take almost a lifetime to complete. It's not that I don't have the time, because I do. No need to watch as much TV as I do or movies. There's plenty of 'cutbacks' that seem to consume my life that I can be rid of.

I think the reason it will take so long is because of the actual story.. what I am trying to tell. I've been working on my life and keeping track of changes, planning for change, creating a healthy life, balancing my life, it goes on.. Of course that takes a lifetime because things are constantly moving in different directions. My focuses go from one thing to another in the blink of an eye. Some weeks are so bad that I feel like giving up and then others are amazing and I wouldn't want to finish a book or even write on a bad week. I rather talk about it after the fact and what I did to get through it. So you can see my mind is pretty packed when it comes to my book and I'm not emotionally 'together' to even work in it on a day to day basis.

Perhaps, that's why I've been slacking a bit with my blog? Could be. Either way I know one thing I will accomplish something great in my life. Whether it's a book or something else. I refuse to die and where ever I go after looking back reviewing my life knowing I did jack.. well you know the rest. That's honestly a fear of mine and I just have to stay strong and positive knowing I, Katie will do something so amazing in my life that will let me rest in peace some day feeling great that everything was truly worth it.

I had to get this all off my chest. Love you all!


Wednesday, November 10, 2010

Day 26 → Have you ever thought about giving up on life? If so, when and why?

Has anyone ever said to you.. "you've got so much going for you what could possibly bring you down"? Maybe not in that exact phrase but perhaps similar? I would have to say that is the worst thing anyone could say to someone else. Ever looked at a picture of yourself and saw this big old smile but you know there's so much going on in your life that the smile is hiding? It's the truth, right? So take a picture of someone else that you think has a 'perfect' life in your eyes and look closely at their picture. How do you know there isn't something bad or troubling happening right now for them? It's the truth and the fact is you don't know.

Everyone has something or had something or will have something happen in their life that will bring them to their lowest point where it's going to take alot to get back up. I've been there, somedays I think I am there and sure as hell know in the future it could possibly happen again. The best thing I can do for me is try my hardest to live the life I want to and prevent myself from ever getting to that point again.

So to answer this very personal question.. and what's stopping me since I'm on Day 26.. yes I have felt like giving up. I remember specific moments where I was curled up in a ball crying my eyes out with no motivation to get up. I was shaking and just hoping people would forget about me and eventually I would just vanish. Why did I feel that way? There's been several times in my life that this exact scenario I just described occurred. I'm not going into detail as to why and I know that may defeat the purpose of this blog. I guess there are some things you keep to yourself.

My point is just know, please know that we all have something going on in our lives. That emotion of giving up, not being able to put ourselves back together.. we all share that. So the next time you're at your lowest and you see someone smiling, having fun, hearing good news about a friend.. don't get jealous. Be happy for them because they're deserving that happiness and it'll be your turn someday.

I love you all very much.

Tuesday, November 9, 2010

Day 25 → The reason you believe you’re still alive today.

Do you remember along time ago one of those advertisements, late at night about how they can teach you 'Speed Read'? They showed people literally with their hand combing through page after page as if their eyes were reading a million words per second. I never really believed it but if you ever saw my Dad read (and yes I know he's an English teacher) he's pretty fast and it boggles my mind. Yep, I said boggle. I'm sitting here doing that same thing with me life. Trying to breeze through year after year since I was a wee little one thinking if there were any crazy incidents that I could write about.

Let's go back a little, play some 80s classics because that's where we need to start...

Mom&Dad are the first reason and only reason that I'm even alive. I don't think I need to explain the birds and the bees to you. If you're questioning it I learned everything from my sister in second grade so my facts may not be that accurate. ;) I have really great parents and can't brag enough about them in which pretty sure I've discussed them in prior blogs.

My Dad's the oldest of 7 wonderful Aunts & Uncles and my Mom is an indentical twin out of 4 kids. My Dad was always wise, intelligent and inspiring knowing he was the oldest and in a way had to be. The countless lessons I've learned from him could probably be written in an encyclopedia album.

My mom is so sweet, caring and always concerned (you can't deny it, Mom). There's nothing wrong with that. She's the reason I've grown to care so much about other people and their feelings. Also, I gained my sensitive trait from her.

Because of them doing the boogy woogy, a perfect delivery (yeah right), and teaching me so much I've gone through life questioning what could have been some bad choices. I have avoided so much negative all because of what they have taught me.

Thanks Rick and Kathy. You two are pretty amazing and I love you both so much. I appreciate you two falling in love and not giving up on having babies. I'm sorry I was a little late but I like to make an entrance!

Love always,

Monday, November 8, 2010

Day 24 → Make a playlist to someone, and explain why you chose all the songs. (Just post the titles and artists and letter)

I can't pick someone specifically to write too in hopes they'll listen to music I find inspiring. It just may not be your thang. Instead I'm going to shimmy a list together with some description as to how it relates to me or inspires me, yada, yada ;)
In hopes.. that something will draw your interest and maybe you too will absolutely fall in love with the song of choice. If you're not sure if you will and want to hear part of the diddies, then hop onto Youtube put in the artist and title that way you can stop it at anytime your heart desires.

Don't forget though.. turn up those speakers!

Million Billion - Milk and Honey: The first time I heard this song I was sitting in my living room on a ladies night with my sister, and two fabulous friends Stace and Lauren. We were all gabbing and then the end of the last episode of King of Queens came on. This was the last few minutes where they did snapshots of past scenes throughout the series. I loved it and cried. Went online that night to search the lyrics hoping it would be out there and found it. It would be a great song to dance to at a Wedding but it may be too fast paced. I'm in love with it. It'll make you smile, I promise.

Dave Matthews - I'll Back You Up: Charlie played this for me long, long ago when we first started dating. I remember listening to it with him and wishing inside that Charlie and I would get married someday and be together forever. Well going on 10 yrs we're still here so perhaps my wish will keep on coming true? The lyrics are truly amazing and maybe you're not in love at the moment but if you ever were it still relates. It's when someone completely takes over your heart that you can't breathe (in a good way) and the impact they have on your life.

Counting Crows - Round Here: The first Counting Crows concert I ever went to was with my (again) fabulous friend Stacey. We sat on a blanket at the Meadows.. I can say Meadows because it still was back then. The grass was starting to get a little wet as it got cooler outside. Adam Duritz started explaining the meaning behind the song and how it go to writing it. I still get goosebumps when the music starts playing at the beginning of the song. He was so calm and beautiful describing life when he wrote it. I thought how much closer could I possibly get to the truth of a great song?

Shaggy - Mr. Boombastic: TOTALLY KIDDING!

Okay, 3 is good. I was hoping to expand the list but my thinking cap is on and just out of power.

Love you all!

Thursday, November 4, 2010

Day 23 → Something you wish you had done in your life.

Alot of these topics seems so much alike. When I start thinking about what to write it's like deja vu, so I apologize if I bore you at all and it's old news. Ah, regrets and more regrets. Whether it's something I didn't do, had done and wish I didn't.. it all falls under the same category. Anyway, I'm going to spice things up. Here is something that I wish had I done in which you'll see the outcome.

Throughout High School there was a particular Art College I dreamt about going to in California. Did my research and was in love. That was my plan, had everything I needed to know about it as well the area around the school. Did it happen? No. Do I regret it? Absolutely, but a few things would never had happened if I had gone in particular order...

...Charlie and I may not be together. My heart would not belong to him.
...Nevan would not be ours. He may very well had been alive but he would have a tacky name and perhaps living with a little old woman who rolls over him with her walker.
...We would not have bought our beautiful house. Matter of fact I may have come home to visit and never once had even driven down this road we live on.
...I would not have gotten my first (and only, for now) tattoo with Tracy when we were 19. It was a really cool experience and I love her for talking me into it.
...I would not have worked in all the places I have since I graduated. They may not have all been so great but I met pretty cool people and learned tons along the way.
...Most likely the surgeries I had would still have existed but I would have been away from my family and friends and dealing with it alone.
...There have been some close people I've lost in the last 8 yrs and not quite sure how distance would have effected being there for my loved ones.
...I reunited with friends that I lost touch with immediately after I graduated from High School that I consider my best friends. Perhaps had I have lived in California I would not have seen them until we had reunions and even then we may not have too much to talk about.
...Buying my Boy Blue, which is my car. He's a beaut and I'm very proud of my baby.

I think you get my drift :) I could name tons of memories and things that wouldn't have happened HAD I have done something in my life that I didn't do. Naturally, my life has played out pretty good. I can smile at where I am in this moment and satisfied.

Love you all,

Wednesday, November 3, 2010

Day 22 → Something you wish you hadn’t done in your life.

This one reminds me alot of Day 3. There are so many things I've done in my life that I regret but as I always say I don't sit dwelling on them. Just this one time, only for ha-ha's I will try to think of those things I regret in life. After this post is done I'm not going back to depress, pity myself, etc. I'm just being real and we all have things we regret but know better to let those remain where they are.. which is in the past.

There's a few bad things I've done that turned into funny stories. For example when I was in 1st grade the evening before school pictures I cut my bangs. "I" cut my bangs. I missed half of them and the half that was cut was pretty much all the way to the root. My poor Mom had to mousse my hair like crazy for the picture the next day. It's great looking at that picture, even better pictures later in the year where the bangs are growing out. Good times..

On a more serious note there's definitely things I've neglected in my life or did that created a different path for me. It could be considered good or bad, but they're definitely not those stories I could laugh about.

I gave up on Art in High School, my senior year of all years. Why? I couldn't even tell you now, just know that I did. I think it was slowly happening because of certain forces in my life and then eventually I just stopped caring. I remember the last week of school when everyone was gathering work throughout the years in the Art Room and I told my teacher "You can just keep all of mine". To this day I only have a few things out of 4 years creating an amazing Portfolio for myself. That's something I regret. Moving on before I start crying..

I wasn't there for my sister as much as I wish I had been in our younger years. She's amazing, caring and truly a genuine soul. When I finally did realize my role and what I needed to do I definitely worked really hard at being a better sister. There's just a period of time that I look back on and without a doubt I did not like that person I once was. She knows how I feel though and I'll be there for her until the day I stop breathing.

Love you guys. Thanks for reading :)


Day 21 → (scenario) Your best friend is in a car accident and you two got into a fight an hour before. What do you do?

I hope this doesn't come out wrong because I'm not quite sure how to word this. I don't think this question is intended for someone mature to answer. With that said even though I must answer it I will say the correct answer it to put your feelings aside and be there for your friend. It's pretty obvious.

Now if I was immature and answering this, I may say.. It depends how bad the fight was. Or not check up on the friend and turn it into a dramatic situation where you shoulda, coulda, woulda been there had you not have fought.

Piece of cake! When times get rough, no matter what you're differences are those ALWAYS need to be put aside. Love is stronger.

;) Love ya'll

Tuesday, November 2, 2010

That's why they call it the Blues.. Jeans that is..

10/27/10: Stopped biting my nails. The most disgusting habit which I've lived with since I was born, I think. And yes, I really stopped. They're still tiny and petite but they'll grow.
10/28/10: Have not had a sip of soda. Believe me though, I'm craving the fizz and pretty sure I have the shakes. Haha, is that possible? I miss Dr. Pepper.. we were like this... (that's the part where you cross your fingers)

I may have skipped a few days, because, well it was the weekend. Another excuse is I've been too tired. It was Halloween and had to buy candy (that takes a few days you know?). Well, I'm back and what will we be marking today as in my history?

... drum roll...
11/02/10: Sadly, on a day like today my favorite pair of jeans is no longer with us. They've had a hole in them for quite some time, it's not able to be fixed. I've been wearing them and just manage to find long shirts to cover up the hole. The last thing I need is to be in the wrong place at the wrong time, drop a pen, tie my shoe (not that I wear any shoes with laces) but you get my drift. Then boom, everyone sees the hole, it would be awful and I would be devestated. I rather remember my jeans for all the good times we had together and not ending it after a horrible situation like the ones I invisioned each time I put those on.

I wrote down all of the information from the tag in hopes to locate another pair in my size out there. The store I purchased them from no longer carry them and were not much help when I asked how to track them down. Wish me luck on my journey to find the same pair of jeans. Rest assure when I find them I will buy a few pairs.

Goodbye my sweet friend, you made every outfit complete.

With love,
The keeper of the best jeans that ever existed.

Day 20 → Your views on drugs and alcohol.

Only 10 days left of this here 30 Days of Truth. Don't get all bent out of shape, there's plenty of more to come after the 30 days are over, believe me.. you. I never understood what that meant.

Sex & Drugs & Rock & Roll.. that's what the title of this one should have been. I feel like spraying pink flakey coloring in my hair, spiking it to no end, throwing on my leather pants (no worries Mom, I don't own any), high boots, jean jacket with holes and then jamming on my air guitar. Of course I would need a cigarette and maybe a flask in my half ripped pocket on the jacket. Can't forget about the bright red lipstick and mascara running down my face. Have that picture yet? That's not me and never will be.

Do I drink? Occasionally. Alcoholism is in my blood so it's definitely something that I will always keep one eye on. I enjoy wine, not everyday and not necessarily every week. When we go out to the bars which is very rare these days I could knock a few malibu with pineapple juice back, yes that's my drink of choice. I don't feel someone needs to drink everyday. Do a google search on alcohol and your liver, because that'll pretty much explain it in a nutshell. I've seen what alcohol has done to some truly amazing people in my life. I've always heard what it's done to people I never had the chance to meet. I always ask everyone.. becareful. That's all. I know that saying 'know your limit', don't shrug it off. Figure out your limit before you have the chance to lose control because it can and will happen.

Drugs? Not for me. Again, I've seen what that can do to people. Drugs took away really loving people. I know that everyone makes their own choices in life, but when something has a hold on you so tight, it covers your eyes and you're helpless. Drugs can do that to someone. Again.. just becareful.

I can't tell anyone what to do or not to do. We all make our own choices in life, whether it's just experimenting and knowing that's your limit. Then there's others that let these addictions become a part of their everyday life in which they are no longer living it.

We have so much in front of us that life is putting on the table. All these opportunities, love, children, jobs, homes, nature, animals, etc etc. There is so much out that and you can believe it or not pick any of those, focus on it and go for it. It's that easy as long as you keep an openmind. What I don't understand is that when all of these remarkable things are offered to us, why choose the poison? Once you choose that poison it's like a trick, it then removes all those options that you had before leaving you with nothing. So I guess all I can say is put some more thought into it before choosing the poison and if you already did.. think if that's what you still want.

I love you all. :)


Monday, November 1, 2010

Day 19 → What do you think of religion? Or what do you think of politics?

Before writing about what is above I'd like to take a step back for a moment. The purpose behind my blog is.. to have a purpose.. to have value if that makes sense. I want this to be expression of me, my heart and mind. It takes alot to write about yourself if you haven't just take my word for it. If I'm putting all of me out there, as they say I'm an open book. Whatever the topic that I'm discussing I just hope that someone out there can relate or finds comforting in my writing, can teach me or others about something similar they went through and how to made it out standing on both feet. With that said.. let me continue what I'm here to accomplish today on Day 19.

I laughed when I saw this. For those who know me pretty well which is most likely anyone reading this.. knows that my LEAST favorite discussion is Politics. Religion, well I just avoid that at all costs if I can. I'm now sulking here a little on the couch wishing I could hit a random button and something new will pop up to write about. I've been slacking quite a few days and I suppose.. this is my punishment. Sure won't do that again!

Just a heads up because I don't plan what the next sentence is, it just pops into my mind and I type away. Of course if it's too much I'll go back and remove whatever shouldn't be there. I never mean to offend anyone. This is me being me, honest and open, just sharing my own opinion. I don't criticize or judge anyone for their beliefs or views so always keep that in the back of your mind when you're reading someone's thoughts on what could always be controversial subjects.

Religion why not start with this one? Do I believe in God? You would really need to define that. I believe there's some type of greater being out there. I don't feel that 'being' is a person who lived long ago, died and rose again. At one point in my life earlier on I did believe that. I read many, many stories in The Bible and went to catechism, had my confirmation and sat in the pew every Sunday for almost 15 years. I had also belonged to a Youth Group in High School which helped me get through some tough times and I met amazing people along the way. With that said I thank my parents raising me Catholic and pushing me into some programs I wasn't looking forward to. I had great experiences, that's a book in itself.

Why did I believe in God and why did I stop? I could say I was angry with God after praying every night when both my grandmother's were dying with Cancer. Praying, begging and crying every night for them to live and rid them of the pain. It's true, I did that. I could also say I was angry when a family member of mine was going through the hardest time of her life and didn't deserve any of it, but for some reason horrible things happened to her. It's true too.. I can't tell you when it happened, what the last piece of not believing in God happened.. but I do remember my feelings and my opinion on it all. I realize that I used God as a crutch. When good things happened I thanked God and when things went wrong he got the bad end of the stick. I didn't handle my belief the way I should have. We all need to believe in something that gets us through tough times. That just wasn't the right road for me. I didn't need to go to church everyweek to pray to someone that I couldn't understand. I can pray to my family and friends who have passed and I feel even closer to them. I've found what I believe in and it's Love. That's my belief, it gets me through everything. I could talk more on that topic another day..

Politics. I'm keeping this short and simple, real short and simple. I feel Politics is a cult, awful I know! It's all about brainwashing and wanting everyone to support the Government and the decisions they make. Pay taxes on everything, okay! Then someone comes up to say hey, vote for me and we'll knock down the taxes on this.. or that.. well it'll never happen. Politicians are just a nice face to throw up on billboards and the boob tube. They don't make the decisions or even write their speeches. I'm not a register voter, did you know that? That's how much I despise politics. I have every right to vote and that's great. When I start believing in what these people have to offer us, then I'll register.

Love you all and hope you understand this is all just my feelings :)