Wednesday, November 10, 2010

Day 26 → Have you ever thought about giving up on life? If so, when and why?

Has anyone ever said to you.. "you've got so much going for you what could possibly bring you down"? Maybe not in that exact phrase but perhaps similar? I would have to say that is the worst thing anyone could say to someone else. Ever looked at a picture of yourself and saw this big old smile but you know there's so much going on in your life that the smile is hiding? It's the truth, right? So take a picture of someone else that you think has a 'perfect' life in your eyes and look closely at their picture. How do you know there isn't something bad or troubling happening right now for them? It's the truth and the fact is you don't know.

Everyone has something or had something or will have something happen in their life that will bring them to their lowest point where it's going to take alot to get back up. I've been there, somedays I think I am there and sure as hell know in the future it could possibly happen again. The best thing I can do for me is try my hardest to live the life I want to and prevent myself from ever getting to that point again.

So to answer this very personal question.. and what's stopping me since I'm on Day 26.. yes I have felt like giving up. I remember specific moments where I was curled up in a ball crying my eyes out with no motivation to get up. I was shaking and just hoping people would forget about me and eventually I would just vanish. Why did I feel that way? There's been several times in my life that this exact scenario I just described occurred. I'm not going into detail as to why and I know that may defeat the purpose of this blog. I guess there are some things you keep to yourself.

My point is just know, please know that we all have something going on in our lives. That emotion of giving up, not being able to put ourselves back together.. we all share that. So the next time you're at your lowest and you see someone smiling, having fun, hearing good news about a friend.. don't get jealous. Be happy for them because they're deserving that happiness and it'll be your turn someday.

I love you all very much.