Wednesday, March 28, 2012

It's called growing up. ♥

"The day the child realizes that all adults are imperfect, he becomes and adolescent; the day he forgives them, he becomes an adult; the day he forgives himself, he becomes wise."

I absolutely love this quote. I've been spending the last few weeks trying to collect myself, mainly my thoughts. There have been so many changes in my life going back to last year and I feel like I finally have time. I finally have time to sit with just myself, to listen to music, to write, to take pictures, to feel free and actually think about how I got here. I have time to think about my decisions that I make each day. I'm taking more time before I say things, before I do things so that I don't step into moments of regret.

There have been people that have hurt me and I have hurt. I use to dwell on those things everyday, feeling this guilt inside that never goes away. I finally have come to peace with all of that. I finally found time to allow myself to move on from those that have hurt me. In the process I can say that I have grown up. I'm living each day and trying to consume myself with actions that are only positive as I've tried to advise others to do. I'm taking better care of myself by exercising and staying active constantly. I'm being more open minded and trying new things. I'm welcoming new people into my life and I'm embracing change.

We have this one life, at least so I believe. This one life to be me, Katie. Last year, there was a day I spent in the dark. I laid up at night crying into my pillow until I finally fell asleep. I woke up and looked in the mirror at my swollen eyes. I was pitiful. I thought to myself, "If this was my last day on earth, and someone was to ask me if I was happy with all that I accomplished in life, where I am.. would I be able to answer honestly that I'm happy and I've done almost all that I wished to do?".... My answer that day was no. From that point on I began to make decisions for me to be happy, only me. Not worrying about the judgement of other people. That's when I left my job of 5 years and pursued my Photography. Along the way I've made additional changes, all to better myself. 

I sit here typing and finding myself asking the same question. "Would I be happy if today was my last day?"... I would be, my answer is yes. Sure, there is still a lot I'd like to do in life, but I have accomplished so much this past year, reconnected with people in my life I never thought I would. Seen my closest friends have children. I'm extremely lucky. So very lucky. ♥

There's a point in our life where we have to find the time to figure things out. To not let time take control of us and we go with it, yet we take control of time. We stop feeling sorry for ourselves and start enjoying everything that life has to offer. If you can't see it then you must find it. Find out what makes you happy and keep at it. Be with those that make you smile, share the same morals as you, that you can laugh with and depend on. Get a pet, perhaps a cute little yorkie (like Peanut!), start at that bucket list. If you don't have one, now is the time to create one, because each day is so delicate.