I've been waiting until I was truly ready and sit down to write this post. There were so many times during the last few months that I was excited to get back into blogging but with so much going on I didn't feel the timing was right where I could dedicate myself and honesty to my blog. Tonight I'm ready.
While sitting upright on the couch which has truly been my goal for the last 7 days without too much pain I have so many thoughts being held captive that I need to just let them go!
I've always been honest and open here and for those that have followed from the beginning remember my talk of the struggle with Endometriosis. I had a laparoscopic procedure over 6 years ago which is when I was officially diagnosed with it and was advised that I did not have functioning fallopian tubes. From then I finally understood the constant pain I had everyday but there's not many options aside from surgery that are promising and permanent relief. From doctor to doctor the discussion of children was brought up and finally last January one physician sat down to explain that I would not be able to conceive a child. It was the most disheartening moment that I can possibly remember. Upsetting and of course when I put my trust in others, I believe whatever I'm told.
I decided this past summer to start fresh. To put all my trust in a new doctor that did not know my history and begin from A-Z without the doctor picking up in the middle of my chaotic story with my lady parts. From the OBGYN he directed me immediately to an amazing Reproductive Specialist. Sitting in the room at my first visit with my new doctor I felt so safe. I had only felt that way with one other doctor in my life and it was the doctor who removed my first breast tumor. This new doctor with only seeing all my previous clinical notes and surgery results 6 years prior looked straight in my eyes and said "If you want to have a baby someday Katie, you will have a baby". I actually left that day feeling more of a woman than I had felt in almost 10 years dating back to my first surgery ever. I felt that there was hope and at the same time I felt ill to my stomach that for so many years I've been living my life based on what other doctors were telling me.
My first procedure with this new Doctor was an HSG (Hysterosalpingography). Just a little warning for those with Endometriosis it can be extremely uncomfortable but as they always say it varies for everyone. From there they put a dye to be able to see the fallopian tubes and this test only confirms whether or not a fallopian tube is blocked or opened. This test does not tell if they are damaged. After going through this procedure I learned a lot about the difference in a damaged and blocked fallopian tube. This procedure told the doctor that my right fallopian tube was blocked. He then said we needed to plan for surgery.
The one thing about going into having yet another laparoscopic surgery was how many possible scenarios there were when they're done. My doctor sat me down 1 week prior to my surgery and explained the worst case scenario which was there was a possibility they could go in and both two would be damaged in that case they would be removed. However, if that was the case the chance of having a child is still possible because there is the option of IVF (in vitro fertilization). He had a positive answer for everything but he wanted me to prepare myself for the worst. The bright side was that his top goal was removing all the endometriosis he saw so that my day to day life would be so much more comfortable and I would be free from pain. He then would remove whichever or both tubes that were damaged.
Last Tuesday was the day of my surgery. What was on the menu? A Laparoscopy & Hysteroscopy with the side of a possible Salpingectomy. I remember feeling so nervous the night before of course which is normal as most do, that something could go wrong, something could be worse, or it will all be for nothing. It was all negative thoughts but a part of me was excited to where there is a chance I could wake up everyday and not have abdominal pain. I now laugh at myself for thinking all of those what if's.
The outcome of my surgery was phenomenal. Though I'm in pain, uncomfortable and just began getting up off the couch and out of bed by myself it's all worth it. Every little ache, sharp pain, dull pain, awkward walking, baby step walking.. it's all worth it! They did the laparoscopy where he then surgically removed all of the endometriosis he located which was on the right and left sides. They do this by either burning away the endo if it's mild and or cutting it away if it's deep. I had some mild spots but unfortunately the majority was deep endometriosis. After thoroughly looking at both fallopian tubes he found that the right tube was severely damaged and had to be removed (Salpingectomy), but the left tube was very healthy which is my saving grace to conceiving naturally someday! Also, while they had planned for the hysteroscopy the doctor had found several uterine polyps inside my uterus which he removed. I'm grateful for the timing and him being so thorough because sooner I found out that those had the chance to lead to uterine cancer. He then saw that I had a Bicornuate Uterus which means my Uterus was an irregular shape which can caused miscarriage and also prevent pregnancy. He continued to do surgery (Metroplasty) in my uterus to bring it to a healthy shape. Everything that was found inside my uterus was not planned prior to the surgery but more so unexpected. Either way, my doctor really made sure to cover all the bases when he performed my surgery and I'm forever thankful for that. For now I am working on healing and spending the next 6 months getting myself healthy and just working on taking care of myself which I truly never did before.. or at least was never very consistent with that. Then we'll see what happens after that! :)