Tuesday, December 27, 2011

Honesty & Goals.

I've been trying to organize my life a bit. When I say life, I really mean home. That's the starting point. I'm really good at saving things that I feel have so much meaning and then never touching them until we move. We're not moving anytime soon, so it's time to get rid of things and put things in order. It's time to eliminate chaos. I've decided I want this done before 2012. 

The reason is because I've only given myself one personal goal for 2012. That goal is to feel confident in my skin. That's not easy. Any woman could agree with me this is quite a challenge. That's not being selfish, at least I don't feel it is. I think we all deserve to start turning our efforts and love around on ourselves. 

A little truth. 8 years ago, I was 19 years old. There was a lot going on in my life that I couldn't quite grasp. I was unhappy with me and I went very low in weight. When I say low, I went from being 110 lbs to 85 lbs within just a few months. Not healthy, not healthy at all. I didn't have a lot of people to go to in which I could confide in because I had pulled myself away from so many wonderful friends. I finally gave myself a good a scare, ended up in the hospital and put myself back together again. I don't want to ever be there again. It was a bad time that I've put away for quite some time until recently.

I tell you this because currently, at this moment in time for myself I weigh the most I ever have in my life. It may not seem it as I'm a short little lady. Recently, someone made a comment about my weight. I know they were trying to make a joke and don't know what I've been through, but it just shows that people may have other things going on in their lives and words hurt. Everyone knows they have their limits. You know where you want to be weight wise and looks and if you're not there, how can you be happy? I'm a little upset with myself for not taking better care of myself. But I do not choose to put myself through what I did 8 years ago. I made that promise to myself long ago.

My goal for 2012 is to feel confident. To work hard at eating better, exercising consistently and not giving up. I hope by doing all of this it will cleanse my spirit, my soul and I will be happier when I look in the mirror. I will be able to present myself better to my family and friends and even with my business. I hope that I can take compliments better because I will believe them. I hope to finally feel comfortable being me. Oh and I hope to stop biting my nails again. ♥

Do you have a goal(s)? ♥

Love yourself first and everything else falls into line. You really have to love yourself to get anything done in this world. ~Lucille Ball