Tuesday, September 2, 2014

79 Days Until We Meet You

This quote is what I heard over and over in my head on November 12, 2013. The day I went in for my surgery not knowing what the outcome would be in regards to my future with being able to conceive. What I did know was that I was going to be in a better place than I was prior to that day because in my heart I knew it was the right decision and I had an amazing surgeon. 

The first day meeting with the Doctor who eventually did my surgery he went over all my records from the past physicians I had seen over a 10 year period. He remained professional and I could see him shaking his head as he turned over some of the pages in my chart. Finally, when he finished he looked up at me and asked if I wanted to have children. I said "I do but for so long I've been told I can't". He said not even blinking an eye "Then you will have children". From that day on we began procedures and tests and ultimately the final result of it all was surgery. 

I think back to that first appointment with my doctor and sitting in my car while it was so warm. I burst into tears. I was so happy yet I was so angry as to how could I see so many doctors being told the same thing, making me feel so incompetent. Even to the point where one doctor gave me a card to see a therapist that could help me cope with the idea of having children (true story). Things I was told that I never shared with friends or family. 

There I was sitting in my car at the age of 29, in a hot car, with tears soaking my shirt... feeling for the first time in my life that I may not be broken after all. 

It will be just about if not exactly a year that Autumn will be born from the day I had my surgery to make this all possible. I'll forever be thankful for November 12, 2013 and the doctor who held and rubbed my hand as the anesthesia was kicking in saying, "everything will be okay Katie,.."

#79: We will make lists of things we are thankful for.