It Just Takes a Feather

I believe that even if our lives are going great or things are looking up, there's always some underlining issue.. something perhaps small or big that is bothering us. A weight on our shoulders, or lingering above our heads that just takes a feather to drop upon the weight for it to come crashing down on us. 

I know this sounds negative, but I feel it's the truth. We all have something going on in those machines called brains that controls our whole lives. We could look at someone that seems so happy and that their life is perfect. We can pretend we're them and wish every night to finally get their life. But if our wish were to come true, we would then carry along whatever it was that was lingering in their life that the outside world had no idea about. 

Isn't that how life goes? That we try so hard to live our lives to the beat of our favorite song but then we're struggling with ourselves or something else effecting us from living to that awesome beat. No one around us may even know that we're struggling or battling with issues within ourselves or lives. It's not that others don't care, it's just because we are so consumed with work, bills, kids, family, friends and always in a different order each week. We focus on one thing or else too many things at once that we don't pay attention to the struggles we and others around us are facing.

I recently opened my eyes up to others around me. I feel so much guilt for not doing so sooner. I forget that just as I struggle with different parts of my life, so do others around me. I forgot to slow down, stop and find out how others are. I guess, seeing the smiles and hearing good things I don't think to dig deeper to question what their lingering weight is above their head or what keeps their shoulders pointing down. We miss our opening to put our hands under that weight above their head.. and then came a feather and rested itself which then caused all their struggles to come crashing down.

I tell you this so maybe you'll too open your eyes to others around you. And please, if you need someone to do the same for you.. be honest and reach out your hand. Sometimes we're blind.. not because we want to be but because we just forget. We need to be reminded once in a while that every single one of us living today, in the moment has something going on that may not be visible. Next time, when you're with a friend or a family member, someone you love or maybe a stranger you meet for the first time. Ask them.. what their troubles or struggles may be. You may not be able to fix it, but you can help by listening so they don't feel alone.

Sending love to all of you! :)

A Car Ride Away

The greatest part of a relationship that I love is doing things together. I mean, that's what a relationship is right?

There's still so much snow on the ground. We thought perhaps a park close by to our home would have a walking path so we ventured out today with Peanut. We arrived at the park and the site was truly beautiful with snow covering the brick paths and a visible path around the pond; however, it was too deep to bring our little baby. Instead we let him run around the closed in dog park while we sat on the bench together and watched him. No one was there, but Peanut ran free and sniffed every foot around that place. It was nice seeing him feel so alive. It makes us feel good seeing him so happy, because we know we must be doing something right?

In all of our 12 years of being together, Charlie & I have gone on so many little day trips throughout our state and some miles into the surrounding states. It's something that we have loved to do together since day one. And believe me when I say we can really prove to others what opposites we are with so many other aspects of our lives, but the special day trips, just hopping in the car and taking off to nowhere is something I've held so close and loved about us. It's what we have in common, one of our very similar "likes". 

Even though today's little & very short lasting adventure wasn't very far, it was still an adventure that we did together and included our little man. It's something we share that helps to make our relationship whole. I believe every relationship needs something that you enjoy doing together. 

Peanut's Splash Time with Yorkie Splash!

Since we got Peanut the one thing we pride ourselves on is making sure that his hygiene is great all around because he's a little 9 lb baby and can't clean himself. I give him his haircuts because I want to make sure to emphasize his cute face whereas the one time we brought him to the dog groomer, they shaved his face down and we didn't recognize our little Peanut. Poor Peanut...

Charlie months back did some searching for the perfect shampoo & conditioner for Peanut. We've used so many but were never happy with the final results because his fur wasn't shiny or else it just didn't seem as soft as it probably should be. And then one day Charlie found this website called Yorkie Splash and Shine! 

Why we never tried to search for this Yorkie Splash Shampoo & Yorkie Shine Conditioner meant specifically for his breed, I have no idea. Let me tell you that if you smell this set you'll want to wash your hair with this shampoo and conditioner! No lie. Peanut smells so good, and he's so soft for weeks to follow after giving him his bath. There was also a Yorkie Sheen Detangling Spray which we sprayed on him after his bath and periodically throughout the weeks to keep him smelling nice and to prevent knots. 

With all of the other shampoos we've tried his fur has never been this amazing. The best part of this product is that it's all natural. We don't like to put chemicals on Peanut that can hurt him and this is so wonderful on his skin and not irritating at all to him! He's a Yorkie which are known to have sensitive skin.. not anymore! That's always been important and number one to us when it comes to anything with his hygiene and health.

We love this and Peanut really approves! I just had to make a post to share this as Peanut is a big part of Love is Everywhere!  

You can visit Yorkie Splash & Shine: Facebook and Website and Twitter

 

Sitting in Windows

Today was one of those days that I didn't accomplish anything on my checklist only for the pure fact I didn't have one today. Instead, I had a slow start taking my time getting ready which is not the norm as we're always rushing in this house. I met one of my very close and longest friends for lunch with her little son who will be 1 year in a week. We had such a great time catching up on all aspects of our lives. It was beautiful, really beautiful. I left our lunch feeling so fulfilled knowing that we are caught up to date with each other's lives and that she's doing great. That feeling is better than clearing out a whole 'to do list' for one month! 

I came home and spent a little time this afternoon laying with some of our babies in the house. It's been so cold and even with our heat we try to not lose any by putting blankets over the windows, heavy blankets. Sure it's not that stylish but we're warm. The sun was out so I pulled the blankets back so our vampire babies could feel the sunlight coming in through the bay window. They loved it, mainly Minnie the tuxedo cat. She's the only girl out of the babies and sure takes ownership hogging the bay window. I sat watching her trying to figure out what she was thinking. I saw a bird fly by and knew she wanted to catch it, play with it and probably eat it? Then there was cars going by and her head went back and forth trying to catch up with them. I really don't think she knows what cars are. Did I mention our cats are indoors? I feel we deprive them, but with all of the wild animals in our back yard I prefer knowing they're all safe.

As I write this, I should be getting ready for a comedy show tonight. The Wayans are at the Comedy Club tonight. Shawn & Marlon! I am so excited that I'm trying to relax right now and take some deep breaths. Were you an In Living Color fan? If so, you appreciate seeing any of the Wayans family live! So I'm off and I hope to catch up on Love is Everywhere this weekend. Sending love your way!

Wedding Workout!

One thing I've never been that great on is consistency, which if you've read my previous posts I'm a 'change' fanatic so maybe that's why? I kind of give up easily too, perhaps that's a little flaw.. or maybe a big flaw. I always get these great and creative ideas and then I don't quite follow through with them. One thing that's been weighing on me is trying to get in shape for our Wedding. It's not a matter of losing weight, it's just about getting toned and perhaps a better diet? Again, good intentions but do I follow through?

I definitely lost a few days especially with this past storm when it came to my Awesome KT Workout Plan! But I still stay active in between and don't just sit on my butt (okay.. keep telling yourself that KT)... So what is my Awesome KT Working Plan?...

Well I took a bunch of different exercises that other people do and just mixed them up a little bit, because consistency bores me. Walking on the treadmill for even 1/2 hour straight bores me, even if I'm watching a TV show at the same time.

Basically, this is my routine:

• Stretching - whatever works for you! I pulled out my old tennis stretches and it makes my body feel great.
• Jumping Jacks - I use my phone to time myself and it pretty much averages a jumping jack per second. I normally will do about 90+ of them.
• Crunches - Oh I love crunches because I'm not a sit-up girl what-so-ever! I do a little under 100 of these.
• Treadmill - I break it up throughout my exercise. So for the first cycle about 10 minutes on 4.0. Also, I have 2 wimpy 2lb weights that I hold while walking because it's awkward to do nothing with your hands. 
• Push-ups - I do baby push-ups.. you know where your knees touch the ground? I can only manage 12 at a time.
• Jumping Jacks - Yes, these again! 90+ more baby!
• Crunches - ... here they come again!
• Treadmill.....don't forget the wimpy weights.....  Push-ups.... and then Treadmill again... and then I have 2 12lb weights that I use to try and gain a little arm muscle because I lack in that category.

As you can see my exercise plan looks confusing, but for me it's not. Sometimes, I still mix it and do things out of order but I love it.. I really do and somehow it motivates me. I guess that's what is most important right? Figure a plan out that is appealing to you and that you love. Most of all make yourself feel good and don't worry about what you look like doing it!

Wedding Hairstyle Ideas!

c/o Pinterest: top left / top right / bottom left / bottom right

I'm quite indecisive and since I'm not sure how long my hair will be by August, I've been scoping out many up-do hairstyles for the big day. Originally, plan was to have it down even though our Wedding is mid August and it most likely will be pretty hot (I'd like to think of it as luke warm). These are so beautiful and I love the little extras in the hair! Right now my favorite is the top left!

Reversing Change.

What I love about being able to make our own choices is how we can change things whenever we'd like. I love change. I think it's because I like the surprise of it all and how things will be different once you make the plunge. One of the changes that I can do about myself which I've taken advantage of since I was in Middle School was my hair. I must have colored, highlighted and cut my hair a trillion times (okay maybe a bit sarcastic).. but for those who know me are shaking their head in agreement. If you don't believe me take a look at this post from years back (click here). You'll see a variety of my hairstyles over the year and that's just a handful of them.

So why am I writing about my hair? Because I'm getting married in August and I've been growing my hair out this past year to have a big selection of pretty hairstyles. However, when January 1st came this year.. I decided I needed a change... and I chopped off more than half my hair. Now I love it, it's cute, but I want my long hair back already! Isn't that how it always works?!

If you have any tips on how I can make my hair grow faster, please share haha! 

My Fitness Pal

With the Wedding coming up in 8.... no 7... oh man.. 6 months.. I'm trying to get myself in shape. It's not a matter of losing weight, but more so I just want to feel healthier and get toned. My biggest problem isn't committing to exercising but what I eat. I tried for a while going on a diet but that didn't last too long because we're always so busy and eating whatever we can when we're on the run. I think you may be shaking your head and agreeing that if not now, there's been a time for you too where you just grab anything from your fridge, cabinets, the store or somewhere unhealthy because you have no time to manage your meals. 

My future sister-in-law showed me this killer app today and I can't help but share it with everyone I know! No matter what kind of smartphone you have, this app is available and the best part? It's free! You can track everything you eat each day in a little diary. You begin by putting in information about yourself, such as weight, height, age and then what your goal weight is. You  may want to stay the same weight but watch what you eat, lose weight or for some gain weight. 

What is this awesome app called? My Fitness Pal is the app that I have fallen in love with and I've completed my day one. Below is not my specific plan but screen shots of the app as you'll see the date is from 2010, haha. You can also keep track online if you prefer not to use your phone or don't have access to a smartphone. Enjoy!

Oh Nemo!

Do you live in New England? Were you affected by the recent Blizzard of 2013? I like to call him Nemo but he's also known as Charlotte. I rather imagine a fish throwing all that snow on us then a spider, wouldn't you? So the snow came and what did we do? We had a fun time locked inside our home while the snow covered the ground like water splashing up on the shore. We even enjoyed our deck one night, sitting on the swing which had no cushions and our butts frozen. Our choice of beverages was a sweet red wine for me and Charlie had a no named bottle of beer. Peanut kept running outside that night but his little 9 lb body couldn't handle the chill. 

The next day as we stepped outside to see the damage and how much snow needed to be shoveled away Peanut pranced around and absolutely loved rolling in the snow. Eventually, he did tire out as you see below. I'd love to hear how all of you spent your time locked inside or even the time you spent in the snow!

We learn so much about ourselves in strenuous situations. Even though we weren't incredibly stressed, except for the snow and where to move it all,, we were survivors! It sounds silly but Charlie is amazing when it comes to surviving and I'm learning a lot from him. You have to always find the sun during a storm and it's there... and even though you can't see it right away you know it'll show it's face sooner than later.

Embrace Letting Go

Walking along the beach this past Sunday with my other half. I thought how Summer felt like yesterday and Winter still is in front of us. Pretty soon it'll be Summer again; however, it'll be a different summer. Not the same as the past. We will not have the same memories, but there will be new amazing ones. I let go of last summer to get ready for this past fall and now winter. I let go of Summer to embrace the change of the seasons.

It's so hard to let go. Don't you agree? The person who can stand before me and with no hesitation and say "it's so easy to let go".. I have so much respect but at the same time I have to ask, "how?" It's very difficult to let go. It's tough to separate your emotions and lock them away. That's what makes us human. 

As we grow our body changes. Okay, maybe I'm going too far back to Health Class.... So our body changes, then we have to get new clothes. With that our style changes and then our personality changes.. Or perhaps, vice versa. We now hang out with different friends who have the same interests and wear the same clothes. Either way, we're growing.. and letting go of what was before. Letting go of those clothes, music, foods. Then we continue to grow and the places we enjoyed going to, no longer interest us. We find new places and with new places are new faces, new bodies.. new friends.

We continue to grow.. because we're human and that's what we do. We now are working, and maybe jumping from job to job. Again, figuring out what we like as our interests and goals are changing like the weatherman's forecast. 

Ultimately, what my main thought of with letting go is how at several points in our lives because of our outlook on life and how we change ourselves.. we end up leaving people in those parts of our lives. We still have the memories but sadly there are people that meant a lot to us, that helped get us through those times but now we can continue our lives and embrace whoever meet and whatever we end up doing. 

Embrace life's changes ahead of you.. embrace letting go...

Love Starts With You

A photo of me when I was a wee little one. I felt it was fitting for this post. :)

I remember my first anxiety attack. Or perhaps it's a panic attack? To me they're both the same. Regardless, I remember it so clearly... as I know how to spell my name. 

I was in 4th grade laying on my parents bed watching the original 90210 just after I had taken a shower. My mom was folding laundry in the same room, my sister was in her bedroom and my father was downstairs in our living room watching television. 

I had a bad day at school that day. There was that awful girl drama between some of my friends and I happened to be in the middle of it. I think my problem was I always wanted everyone to be friends so being the mediator was the worst job to have, especially at that age. But the moment I returned home from school a part of me felt at peace, that everything would be okay in a few days because people forget, friends move on and then something new comes up that draws everyone's attention away. 

So I'm laying on my parents bed watching 90210.. I'm trying to focus on the show but all's that I could think of was school and how my friends were upset with one another. I could only think about how people get hurt.. but why do they get hurt... why do people want to hurt people... it's not fair we cry.. why do we cry... why do people want to make others cry... why do people feel happy when they make others cry... why do we laugh at others when they get hurt.. and you can imagine the thoughts just did that snowball effect. As I'd try to shake my thoughts and focus on the drama of 90210 in front of me.. there on that specific episode was backstabbing, friends fighting and people hurting one another. My chest began tightening.. The immediate thought was.. here are older people (yes I know it's TV).. and they're fighting.. they're making each other cry... they're laughing at their pain.. they're deliberately trying to ruin each other's lives. 

I had an anxiety.... panic... crazy I'm way too young for this...attack... thinking that no matter where I go in life there are going to be people around me hurting others. I felt that life would never get better and there is always going to be bad people, or even friends in my life that will hurt me.. or worst of all I'd hurt them. I cried to my Mom.. I cried that I wished I'd never grow up.. She comforted me and laughed in a caring way. She said everything was going to be okay and she calmed me down. 

That was 4th grade... so I guess I was 10-11-ish years old? I'm 28 now and I can tell you that little 10 year old girl that I once was.... was pretty smart. I've managed to make it through a couple decades after that and what I've seen in life all these years definitely fits all those thoughts that made me panic. I have come across people who have hurt me, hurt others and I know first hand I've made bad decisions that have hurt people I loved as well. 

Somehow, some days when I'm out and about I look around me and see adults with the minds of those 10 year girls and boys fighting in school over looks, sports.. judging their families or their actions.. whispering and snickering behind others backs...

Because of this memory that I think of anytime I see someone feeling or getting hurt is why I believe in caring for others. It's why I originally created this Blog. Because there is good and there is still love out there aside from the hurt, hatred and negativity that hides in the shadows. 

Love is everywhere and it starts with you. 

Oh Wedding Plans!

Our Wedding is only 281 days away. It feels decades away, but that could be because I've been waiting my whole life to plan for this special day. I honestly want to talk about Wedding planning 24/7 but I don't want to drive anyone crazy so I figured I'll write it here. That way no one is stuck in my presence of listening, haha.

The planning is the best part. I can see though why so many women get stressed. I've had my share of 'minor' stresses but I put those bad boys to rest quickly. Charlie & I had no hesitation when deciding who we wanted to ask to be in our Bridal Party. Though there are so many friends we wish that we could include they'll still be apart of our special day. We are so lucky to have such wonderful friends who love us and want to be there and have been helping out with their awesome ideas. 

We were originally planning on having our Wedding split up a bit, with our Ceremony in Maine and then a Reception a few weeks later in our hometown at my parents. After thinking about it, it made so much more sense to have it all together so now we're down to one day and I am more excited than I was before. Deciding on dresses and decorations has my mind constantly pulling out that creative side I've been hiding away. 

I know what colors I want and my theme I'm going for is French/Vintage to bring in my french heritage.  Since we each lost all of our grandparents we're including them as well. I am putting together photos and I want to set something lovely up at our Wedding to remember our relatives that won't be there. We're trying to also include some other people outside of our Bridal Party in the Wedding to have little roles here in there and that's important to us too. We'll be writing our own vows which I can't wait to cry my eyes out reading what I'll be writing (it's all in my head now) to Charlie.

I put together a little collage of cute pinterest ideas I found! Hope you like! If you find anything you think would be helpful feel free to share! I LOVE getting Wedding Advice! :)

What I've Learned From Her

Long ago we were little redheaded sisters running around. Whether we were running away from each other after a fight, or running after one another during a game of tag, or at times running alongside each other as we were on the same team in 'kick the can'. No matter where we were running too, how fast, or who else was with us we always found time to sit down with each other and talk. Because we're sisters.

We've been there for each other during some of the darkest, sad and also happiest moments in our lives. Injuries, heartaches, confusion, uncertainty, deaths, we were there. We were raised with great morals all thanks to two amazing and caring parents that always encouraged us and also made sure we knew when we did something wrong. They didn't make excuses for us for our faults, they taught us to learn, grow and move on.

I've learned from my sister the struggles and obstacles that life entails and that you can get through anything as long as you keep your mind open and ask for help. It's something we all are too scared to do and feel that only we can fix our own problems. That's not true, asking for help is key. 

I've learned from my sister the beauty in music. To look past the lyrics in a song and close your eyes to the role of each instrument and how they come together to create something so extraordinary. As she is so talented when it comes to music it was through her talent that I learned this.

I've learned from my sister that every sole is delicate. Every one around us may have secrets, things they're dealing with; however, they do not express those feelings. Someone who may seem angry or even extremely happy, may be hurting inside. That it could be anyone we come in contact with throughout the day, week or in a lifetime and that we can't assume that their external expressions and feelings is what is true and not to jump to conclusions or judge them based off of a few words. To learn about them, talk to them and just listen.

Most of all I've learned from my sister how to be a sister. How to love and know that family will always be there and that is something we just do... it's something we are. 

I love my sister Kelly. 

Let's Be Serious

It's cloudy outside.

The sun is not out, instead it's hiding away.

It's wet.

It's cold.

I hit every red light....

evvvverrrry red light.

One of my nails broke.

We need to buy oil or we'll freeze.

Peanut is acting bazerko!

but... I am breathing...

... and you know what?

I am Happy. 

Life & Changes!

There's been so many changes in my life when I think back to 1 year prior to today. I quit a job which left me with a bitter sweet feeling. I enjoyed working with so many amazing, strong and intelligent individuals; however, I felt everything I stood for was draining from myself. I wasn't me anymore and it was a huge decision to make but looking back it was the best thing I could have ever done for me and my family. 

I began my Photography business. Even though it's 'small' and I'm still starting out I've met so many amazing people and have been able to capture for them some pretty memorable moments in their lives that they'll have forever. Each time I walk away from a session I feel good because I know I did something good for someone else. That my friends is quite an accomplishment!

I found a part time job during the week to keep myself busy as well have a steady income. Let me say, never in my life would I have thought I'd find a place I loved SO much. A place where I feel that I belong, such loving, fun and caring women I work with that watch out for each other, somewhere I learn something new everyday and I can be myself. Also, we do good for others and again... my friends... that is absolutely an accomplishment!

What else has changed this past year? Well, I got adult braces. I love saying adult braces.. okay I got braces. :) It's something I've wanted to do my entire childhood and never did. In a way, I'm glad it's now and not then. I think having braces as a child, I may have neglected my teeth once they were off. Perhaps, I wouldn't have warn my retainer and all the hard work of the doctor would have been done for nothing. Now I'm older, mature and I'm so proud of myself for taking on the challenge. 

If you remember the KT Facts you may remember that I was an on and off again nailbiter. Okay.. this is where I can no longer be in denial and say I'm a nailbiter; however, I'm on the wagon? Or can I say without a doubt that I have kicked the habit? Well, having braces makes it quite impossible to even bite your nails.. that said I have the most beautiful healthy nails that my little fingers have ever seen! I'm very proud that I've gotten past such a nasty habit that I've been struggling with for 28 years.

Lastly, tomorrow I will be going to a dermatologist for the first time in my life. With all of my hormonal issues that you can read [here], there's been a struggle with my skin. I have been just one a of many that deals with acne on their face. Some weeks or I should say.. some days my skin feels and looks pretty good. The rest of the weeks and days in a month my face hurts and I break out. I've been a bit of a stubborn baby when it comes to medication. I always feel that I can find the natural remedy whether it's through diet, vitamins or organic creams. Well, in my case nothing works and this is the last thing on my list of what I despise about myself. I would love to wake up one day and not have to put layers of makeup on my skin to cover up the scarring. Or tons of topical ointments to kill away those nasty blemishes rising through my skin. Tomorrow, I am taking the plunge and finally seeing one. I have so much optimism that it will be a lifechanging event when I step into the doctor's office. 

Well, you can see my summary of this year. My feelings and accomplishments. How can I complain? I really can't. Okay, I have too many bills to pay and definitely not a $1 million in the bank. But I have so much more that money can't buy. I can stand tall and feel proud of decisions and what comes next.

Ahhh... Fall.