I am such a slacker. The proof is how far behind I am with my days. It's interesting that the topic would be something I hope to do in life. I will never do anything if I continue to be such a slacker, haha!
My Memere (french of course) and Papa (irish) visited Ireland many moons ago. I always loved looking through their photo album. Everything is green, ironic I know! They did site seeing and took so many pictures. It's kind of comforting knowing how much it must have cost to develop back then.. and pictures for special occasions, vacations were so minimal for people. They took up an entire photo album, though. My most favorite photos were each of them kissing the Blarney Stone upside down.
I truly hope to visit Ireland someday and take pictures just as they did and kiss the Blarney Stone.
<3 KT
Saturday, October 9, 2010
Tuesday, October 5, 2010
Day 04 → Something you have to forgive someone for.
This is tricky because at this time I'm not upset with anyone or hold a grudge. If there was a point that any issues occurred they have all been resolved. This will be short and painless. I'm flying in the clouds with no lights or radar!
I forgive whoever created the Cell Phone. It makes me mad to think I depend on it, constantly checking texts, sending them, capturing random moments, freaking out if I forget it or the battery is close to dying. How sad is that in which such a small, fancy piece of technology can have such a crazy grip on us. I do cheerish it and love having it for all of those reasons I just listed. I forgive you the creator of the Cell Phone. I'm pretty sure you traded your soul for that invention, haha!!
Love you all,
KT
I forgive whoever created the Cell Phone. It makes me mad to think I depend on it, constantly checking texts, sending them, capturing random moments, freaking out if I forget it or the battery is close to dying. How sad is that in which such a small, fancy piece of technology can have such a crazy grip on us. I do cheerish it and love having it for all of those reasons I just listed. I forgive you the creator of the Cell Phone. I'm pretty sure you traded your soul for that invention, haha!!
Love you all,
KT
Day 03 → Something you have to forgive yourself for.
“Get forgiveness now - tomorrow you may no longer feel guilty”
I missed a day, sorry about that. I'm making up for it with two and it's a bit late. In reality though I thought all day (yesterday, not today) of what I was going to forgive myself for.. I just didn't have the opportunity to write it all out. I'm definitely disappointed with myself for various things looking back in life. Regrets is probably the correct term, but the truth is we all have them.
I have to admitt that its a bit odd to write to myself saying I'm sorry and then after replying.. it's okay? I'm not going to lie, it's weird. So how did I do this? How did I come to the decision to forgive myself for this specific thing? What made me choose this? I'll be honest I had to look deep into the mirror and talk to myself for a little while...
One of the biggest issues that consumes me is my insecurity. There is so much that I can stand so rewinding a little to how I came up with this topic.. I had to look in the mirror. The mirror can be your worst enemy, you're judging yourself when you look straight at it. One insecurity spreads like a wildfire in Cali. At this point in my life I've finally come to the conclusion (even though I always knew this) that this is my body and I'm stuck with it. My skin will never be perfect but there's things I can do to improve it the best that I can. Weight is an issue to everyone in all different sizes. To someone else you look fine but to yourself you're not happy. I want to be happy with myself and comfortable in my skin.
Dear Me,
I am very sorry for spending the majority of my life feeling insecure. I know that inside I'm beautiful and have a heart of gold. I am forgiving myself for the times I looked in the mirror with tears rolling down my face feeling unhappy about my appearance. That's not fair to you. Now that I'm forgiven I can move on and learn from this.
Thanks self, you rock ;)
Love,
KT
I missed a day, sorry about that. I'm making up for it with two and it's a bit late. In reality though I thought all day (yesterday, not today) of what I was going to forgive myself for.. I just didn't have the opportunity to write it all out. I'm definitely disappointed with myself for various things looking back in life. Regrets is probably the correct term, but the truth is we all have them.
I have to admitt that its a bit odd to write to myself saying I'm sorry and then after replying.. it's okay? I'm not going to lie, it's weird. So how did I do this? How did I come to the decision to forgive myself for this specific thing? What made me choose this? I'll be honest I had to look deep into the mirror and talk to myself for a little while...
One of the biggest issues that consumes me is my insecurity. There is so much that I can stand so rewinding a little to how I came up with this topic.. I had to look in the mirror. The mirror can be your worst enemy, you're judging yourself when you look straight at it. One insecurity spreads like a wildfire in Cali. At this point in my life I've finally come to the conclusion (even though I always knew this) that this is my body and I'm stuck with it. My skin will never be perfect but there's things I can do to improve it the best that I can. Weight is an issue to everyone in all different sizes. To someone else you look fine but to yourself you're not happy. I want to be happy with myself and comfortable in my skin.
Dear Me,
I am very sorry for spending the majority of my life feeling insecure. I know that inside I'm beautiful and have a heart of gold. I am forgiving myself for the times I looked in the mirror with tears rolling down my face feeling unhappy about my appearance. That's not fair to you. Now that I'm forgiven I can move on and learn from this.
Thanks self, you rock ;)
Love,
KT
Sunday, October 3, 2010
Day 02 → Something you love about yourself.
30 Days of Truth: Today we dip into the clearest ocean and swim with "LOVE"
I don't know if this is a quote or not. It's a thought so perhaps I've heard it once before. "What can be your best quality can also be your worst." Does that make sense to you? It does to me.
Love! This is my absolutely, favorite word in the dictionary. I'm in love with love, everything about it. I feel it's important to over use it! You can never say it too much as people are scared of. I know how it makes me feel to hear it so I can only imagine what day I've made for someone else expressing how I feel about them. I hope.. when I die I'm remembered for trying with all of me to make everyone feel loved.
I love.. love.. LOVE..
..my big heart. I feel it and hear it so I know it's there. I have so much room to care for all the people in my life and even more. I'm pretty sure that the love in my heart is unlimited and it's a great feeling. My heart makes me hurt, cry, and feel anger. I love it, all the feelings make me real.
..my green eyes with freckles. I was told when I was very young by my Papa that the green made me more Irish than others. It's silly when I look back but that's what I think of when I really take a good look into them (in the mirror of course).
.. that I'm observant. I feel that I would have made a great Profiler for the FBI, haha. I don't want to call myself someone who judges in a negative way. I can look at someone and in my head create a summary of their life and them. I've come to find out after knowing them that I was right. Where ever I am I've observed my surroundings, so I'm never really caught off guard in a situation. I really love that about myself.
..that I'm a hardworker. No matter what I've done in life I've worked really hard to get where I ended up whether it was a short period of time or long. I have a house now with the love of my life and 3 crazy animals but I (we) worked really hard to get here. I never gave up even though perhaps there were times that made it easy to. I'm happy that I put all of me into anything I take on.
..my love for photos. I may not be a professional photographer, maybe someday I will be! Not today though ;) I've caught some great times for people and because of that they'll always have those memories. Which leads into my next love..
.. my appreciation for memories. I don't want to say I dwell but I'm one that enjoys telling stories from my past and asking alot of questions about others. My friends have probably heard some of the same storie a thousand times. Side note.. thanks for letting me repeat myself because it means something to me :)
.. my energy. This is funny because at so many times I have the 'lack' of this, haha. I was a spunky, happy child who talked, sang and danced too much. Nothing wrong with that. As I got older I lost a little of that and calmed down. I think over the past few years I've slowly got back to my so called 'ways'. I love talking, singing and dancing and believe me you can never do any of those too much!
I may add onto this list but I'm very satisfied with what I've written so far. I love you all so much and thank you for taking the time to reading this and being apart of this journey!
Love always,
KT
I don't know if this is a quote or not. It's a thought so perhaps I've heard it once before. "What can be your best quality can also be your worst." Does that make sense to you? It does to me.
Love! This is my absolutely, favorite word in the dictionary. I'm in love with love, everything about it. I feel it's important to over use it! You can never say it too much as people are scared of. I know how it makes me feel to hear it so I can only imagine what day I've made for someone else expressing how I feel about them. I hope.. when I die I'm remembered for trying with all of me to make everyone feel loved.
I love.. love.. LOVE..
..my big heart. I feel it and hear it so I know it's there. I have so much room to care for all the people in my life and even more. I'm pretty sure that the love in my heart is unlimited and it's a great feeling. My heart makes me hurt, cry, and feel anger. I love it, all the feelings make me real.
..my green eyes with freckles. I was told when I was very young by my Papa that the green made me more Irish than others. It's silly when I look back but that's what I think of when I really take a good look into them (in the mirror of course).
.. that I'm observant. I feel that I would have made a great Profiler for the FBI, haha. I don't want to call myself someone who judges in a negative way. I can look at someone and in my head create a summary of their life and them. I've come to find out after knowing them that I was right. Where ever I am I've observed my surroundings, so I'm never really caught off guard in a situation. I really love that about myself.
..that I'm a hardworker. No matter what I've done in life I've worked really hard to get where I ended up whether it was a short period of time or long. I have a house now with the love of my life and 3 crazy animals but I (we) worked really hard to get here. I never gave up even though perhaps there were times that made it easy to. I'm happy that I put all of me into anything I take on.
..my love for photos. I may not be a professional photographer, maybe someday I will be! Not today though ;) I've caught some great times for people and because of that they'll always have those memories. Which leads into my next love..
.. my appreciation for memories. I don't want to say I dwell but I'm one that enjoys telling stories from my past and asking alot of questions about others. My friends have probably heard some of the same storie a thousand times. Side note.. thanks for letting me repeat myself because it means something to me :)
.. my energy. This is funny because at so many times I have the 'lack' of this, haha. I was a spunky, happy child who talked, sang and danced too much. Nothing wrong with that. As I got older I lost a little of that and calmed down. I think over the past few years I've slowly got back to my so called 'ways'. I love talking, singing and dancing and believe me you can never do any of those too much!
I may add onto this list but I'm very satisfied with what I've written so far. I love you all so much and thank you for taking the time to reading this and being apart of this journey!
Love always,
KT
Saturday, October 2, 2010
Day 01 → Something you hate about yourself.
30 Days of Truth: Today focuses on the word "hate"
I know I missed a day, yesterday ended up being too beautiful with various things happening in my life to sit my butt down and open up to tell all what I 'hate' about myself. That word makes me cringe. For those who know me can vouche for me when I say I barely ever and I mean extremely seldomly do I use that word. Most likely you would find me in tears, crying, barely breathing if I were to use that in a sentence included another person's name. Sure I may say foods I h-te or certain clothes, etc. There's no emotions behind that and it just flowers from your mouth. However, when you're including someone's name in that sentence it becomes almost a sin, curse, a swear, gasping... did you really say that?! Moving on now that I've clarified a bit on the background and what this word means to me you'll understand that this is difficult. I guess you have to go through the bad to get to the good. It's funny that 'hate' is the first topic in the 30 Days of Truth.
I hate
.. my skin and because of that I wear makeup everyday. It's time consuming and I feel that I'm hiding my true self from the world. It's also oily which I despise..
.. my teeth, perhaps I needed braces as a child regardless they're awful and I have a small gap between two teeth.
.. my height. At times I like being small but you can get left out because your voice doesn't get heard. No comedy behind that, it's true. I'm overlooked.
.. my heart. It's too big. I feel too much for everyone and worry constantly. It causes me to put everyone and everything in front before.. well, me. I'm learning this though alot lately. I feel guilty even saying all of this but at times this is just how I feel.
.. my eyesight. Contacts are convenient and glasses are just uncomfortable (for me). I can't see without either so going under the water is a challenge of mine.
.. swimming skills, or should I say lack of swimming skills. I can swim in a pull and in the ocean stay where my feet touch the ground. I know that the possibility of me drowning someday is very likely. I'm a terrible swimmer and those who know me, know that. Because I can't swim well I'm scared of the water, deep water. This then causes me to be scared to go on a boat. Damn you stupid swim instructer Ann from when we were little for scaring me so much, pushing my head under the water and traumatizing me. Damn you..
.. that I'm scared of heights. My knees lock up and I can't move when I reach the edge. I can't enjoy rollarcoasters, and when we go on hikes I won't go too close to the edge.
.. that I don't follow through. I have wonderful ideas and projects in my head and never pursue them. It's laziness I know, but I still hate the initial process of stepping over all those ideas and never going back to them.
.. when I hurt people. Going back to the moment I was a child anyone I had upset, family, friends, or people I really didn't know it follows believe me. Never in my life did I ever initially hurt anyone but sometimes it does happen whether we plan it or not. My heart chips everytime I feel that I've caused anyone pain or stress.
.. my scars. They make me feel damaged. Even though it's only really me that can see them, I know they're there. I can feel them. Reminds me of the surgeries to remove the breast tumors as well finding the endometriosis. It makes me feel weak.
I might beable to go all day listing all of these. I want to take a step back though before I get carried away. Even though I do hate all of these things I also have learned from everything. But I'm following the instructions of this exciting adventure. We'll see what's in stored for tomorrow. Thank you for reading. Feedback is always much appreciated.
I love you all so much!
KT
I know I missed a day, yesterday ended up being too beautiful with various things happening in my life to sit my butt down and open up to tell all what I 'hate' about myself. That word makes me cringe. For those who know me can vouche for me when I say I barely ever and I mean extremely seldomly do I use that word. Most likely you would find me in tears, crying, barely breathing if I were to use that in a sentence included another person's name. Sure I may say foods I h-te or certain clothes, etc. There's no emotions behind that and it just flowers from your mouth. However, when you're including someone's name in that sentence it becomes almost a sin, curse, a swear, gasping... did you really say that?! Moving on now that I've clarified a bit on the background and what this word means to me you'll understand that this is difficult. I guess you have to go through the bad to get to the good. It's funny that 'hate' is the first topic in the 30 Days of Truth.
I hate
.. my skin and because of that I wear makeup everyday. It's time consuming and I feel that I'm hiding my true self from the world. It's also oily which I despise..
.. my teeth, perhaps I needed braces as a child regardless they're awful and I have a small gap between two teeth.
.. my height. At times I like being small but you can get left out because your voice doesn't get heard. No comedy behind that, it's true. I'm overlooked.
.. my heart. It's too big. I feel too much for everyone and worry constantly. It causes me to put everyone and everything in front before.. well, me. I'm learning this though alot lately. I feel guilty even saying all of this but at times this is just how I feel.
.. my eyesight. Contacts are convenient and glasses are just uncomfortable (for me). I can't see without either so going under the water is a challenge of mine.
.. swimming skills, or should I say lack of swimming skills. I can swim in a pull and in the ocean stay where my feet touch the ground. I know that the possibility of me drowning someday is very likely. I'm a terrible swimmer and those who know me, know that. Because I can't swim well I'm scared of the water, deep water. This then causes me to be scared to go on a boat. Damn you stupid swim instructer Ann from when we were little for scaring me so much, pushing my head under the water and traumatizing me. Damn you..
.. that I'm scared of heights. My knees lock up and I can't move when I reach the edge. I can't enjoy rollarcoasters, and when we go on hikes I won't go too close to the edge.
.. that I don't follow through. I have wonderful ideas and projects in my head and never pursue them. It's laziness I know, but I still hate the initial process of stepping over all those ideas and never going back to them.
.. when I hurt people. Going back to the moment I was a child anyone I had upset, family, friends, or people I really didn't know it follows believe me. Never in my life did I ever initially hurt anyone but sometimes it does happen whether we plan it or not. My heart chips everytime I feel that I've caused anyone pain or stress.
.. my scars. They make me feel damaged. Even though it's only really me that can see them, I know they're there. I can feel them. Reminds me of the surgeries to remove the breast tumors as well finding the endometriosis. It makes me feel weak.
I might beable to go all day listing all of these. I want to take a step back though before I get carried away. Even though I do hate all of these things I also have learned from everything. But I'm following the instructions of this exciting adventure. We'll see what's in stored for tomorrow. Thank you for reading. Feedback is always much appreciated.
I love you all so much!
KT
Thursday, September 30, 2010
I'll take one to go, thank you!
I first want to share something wonderful that I'm looking forward to starting tomorrow. I chose tomorrow because it's the 1st of the month and happens to be on a Friday. Instead of the typical "hey I'm going on a diet, starting Monday.." why not flip things around a bit! A beautiful soul (Garnet) has inspired me with "30 Days of Truth." I look at it as if I'm completely stripping myself of all clothes and makeup and being completely open. Okay, haha that's a very strange and maybe uncomfortable analogy, but each day will be the truth, honesty, exactly what you see is what you get. I'm ready to open myself up a little more and perhaps along the way I'll learn more about myself. I recommend all of you to do this. Even if you don't want to share this with the world, do it for you.
Perhaps in months or years from now you can look back at these 30 days and see what has changed, improved or perhaps realize you're living in circles! I'm filled with so many emotions thinking of the next 30 days, overall I'm excited.
30 Days of Truth
The idea is simple: 30 days, a topic a day, to tell the absolute truth.
I thought this was a genius idea, even the title. Sometimes it is very hard to speak the truth, even to yourself. Many of the topics will be easy to talk about, answers I have known forever, others may prove to be questions I’ve never asked myself because I am simply afraid of the answer. I am hoping that my responses will surprise me—teach me some new things, and reaffirm the things I’ve known all along.
It’s bound to be a journey of some sort.
Day 01 → Something you hate about yourself.
Day 02 → Something you love about yourself.
Day 03 → Something you have to forgive yourself for.
Day 04 → Something you have to forgive someone for.
Day 05 → Something you hope to do in your life.
Day 06 → Something you hope you never have to do.
Day 07 → Someone who has made your life worth living for.
Day 08 → Someone who made your life hell, or treated you like shit.
Day 09 → Someone you didn’t want to let go, but just drifted.
Day 10 → Someone you need to let go, or wish you didn’t know.
Day 11 → Something people seem to compliment you the most on.
Day 12 → Something you never get compliments on.
Day 13 → A band or artist that has gotten you through some tough ass days. (write a letter.)
Day 14 → A hero that has let you down. (letter)
Day 15 → Something or someone you couldn’t live without, because you’ve tried living without it.
Day 16 → Someone or something you definitely could live without.
Day 17 → A book you’ve read that changed your views on something.
Day 18 → Your views on gay marriage.
Day 19 → What do you think of religion? Or what do you think of politics?
Day 20 → Your views on drugs and alcohol.
Day 21 → (scenario) Your best friend is in a car accident and you two got into a fight an hour before. What do you do?
Day 22 → Something you wish you hadn’t done in your life.
Day 23 → Something you wish you had done in your life.
Day 24 → Make a playlist to someone, and explain why you chose all the songs. (Just post the titles and artists and letter)
Day 25 → The reason you believe you’re still alive today.
Day 26 → Have you ever thought about giving up on life? If so, when and why?
Day 27 → What’s the best thing going for you right now?
Day 28 → What if you were pregnant or got someone pregnant, what would you do?
Day 29 → Something you hope to change about yourself. And why.
Day 30 → A letter to yourself, tell yourself EVERYTHING you love about yourself
Courtesy of the wonderful, talented Hope.
-------
This leads a little into my next topic or perhaps same topic. Either way my thoughts.. A few weeks back I was feeling that life was going rather smoothly, a little too smoothly. No bumps or obstacles that I could see. Then again that kind of crap always creeps up on you when you're not expecting it. Well, it did just that! I then had a bit of a set back and hit my stress level. In all honesty I went past my limit and broke down. It was terrible. I never want to be that stressed out or upset again (never say never.. I know..). It's so easy to smile and say I'm great when things aren't great. I know when things are bad when I can't even do that! The stress made me physically sick and I finally headed back to work today. I'm always thankful for these 'hiccups' along the way because they make me stronger. I definitely got knocked down and slowly picking myself back up. I'm happy I went through what I did because now I realize I need to worry about me for a bit. I've put me off for far too long that it's time to take another look at my priorities. I have a few ideas up my sleeves which I'll share soon!
I'm truly looking forward to what's to come in life and putting these past few weeks behind me. I'm letting people handle their own problems if they don't involve me. Giving myself a chance to get to know myself again, haha!
Love you all - Peace
KT
Perhaps in months or years from now you can look back at these 30 days and see what has changed, improved or perhaps realize you're living in circles! I'm filled with so many emotions thinking of the next 30 days, overall I'm excited.
30 Days of Truth
The idea is simple: 30 days, a topic a day, to tell the absolute truth.
I thought this was a genius idea, even the title. Sometimes it is very hard to speak the truth, even to yourself. Many of the topics will be easy to talk about, answers I have known forever, others may prove to be questions I’ve never asked myself because I am simply afraid of the answer. I am hoping that my responses will surprise me—teach me some new things, and reaffirm the things I’ve known all along.
It’s bound to be a journey of some sort.
Day 01 → Something you hate about yourself.
Day 02 → Something you love about yourself.
Day 03 → Something you have to forgive yourself for.
Day 04 → Something you have to forgive someone for.
Day 05 → Something you hope to do in your life.
Day 06 → Something you hope you never have to do.
Day 07 → Someone who has made your life worth living for.
Day 08 → Someone who made your life hell, or treated you like shit.
Day 09 → Someone you didn’t want to let go, but just drifted.
Day 10 → Someone you need to let go, or wish you didn’t know.
Day 11 → Something people seem to compliment you the most on.
Day 12 → Something you never get compliments on.
Day 13 → A band or artist that has gotten you through some tough ass days. (write a letter.)
Day 14 → A hero that has let you down. (letter)
Day 15 → Something or someone you couldn’t live without, because you’ve tried living without it.
Day 16 → Someone or something you definitely could live without.
Day 17 → A book you’ve read that changed your views on something.
Day 18 → Your views on gay marriage.
Day 19 → What do you think of religion? Or what do you think of politics?
Day 20 → Your views on drugs and alcohol.
Day 21 → (scenario) Your best friend is in a car accident and you two got into a fight an hour before. What do you do?
Day 22 → Something you wish you hadn’t done in your life.
Day 23 → Something you wish you had done in your life.
Day 24 → Make a playlist to someone, and explain why you chose all the songs. (Just post the titles and artists and letter)
Day 25 → The reason you believe you’re still alive today.
Day 26 → Have you ever thought about giving up on life? If so, when and why?
Day 27 → What’s the best thing going for you right now?
Day 28 → What if you were pregnant or got someone pregnant, what would you do?
Day 29 → Something you hope to change about yourself. And why.
Day 30 → A letter to yourself, tell yourself EVERYTHING you love about yourself
Courtesy of the wonderful, talented Hope.
-------
This leads a little into my next topic or perhaps same topic. Either way my thoughts.. A few weeks back I was feeling that life was going rather smoothly, a little too smoothly. No bumps or obstacles that I could see. Then again that kind of crap always creeps up on you when you're not expecting it. Well, it did just that! I then had a bit of a set back and hit my stress level. In all honesty I went past my limit and broke down. It was terrible. I never want to be that stressed out or upset again (never say never.. I know..). It's so easy to smile and say I'm great when things aren't great. I know when things are bad when I can't even do that! The stress made me physically sick and I finally headed back to work today. I'm always thankful for these 'hiccups' along the way because they make me stronger. I definitely got knocked down and slowly picking myself back up. I'm happy I went through what I did because now I realize I need to worry about me for a bit. I've put me off for far too long that it's time to take another look at my priorities. I have a few ideas up my sleeves which I'll share soon!
I'm truly looking forward to what's to come in life and putting these past few weeks behind me. I'm letting people handle their own problems if they don't involve me. Giving myself a chance to get to know myself again, haha!
Love you all - Peace
KT
Sunday, August 29, 2010
There's no place like 'Home'..
At the end of August we will have been in our home for 10 months. That's along time to care for a house, pay a mortgage, etc. I think back to when we lived in our oh so fancy apartment for almost 4 years. Even though I appreciate having a place of our own and especially that is was in Plainville there is so much I do not miss.
You know me, I love lists. Love em! Everytime I get frustrated over something so small in our house I remind myself about the apartment. Now it wasn't bad and I promise to make a list of all the goods that happened while we were there. However, today I'm looking back at things that happened that help me appreciate our home! So here we go.
I sure don't miss.....
...the rotting pine trees in the parking lot that leaned over my little Ford Escort. It dripped sap all over and was awful to remove. Friends of mine who ever visited, I apologize for the sap on your car!
...having to contact the main office for 2 months straight until they fixed our mailbox, gave us a key only to have ripped up mail in the box accumulating overtime.
...the first neighbor across the hall who was overly friendly and creepy all at once. I was 5 minutes late running to the basement to grab my laundry just to find him removing it and folding it in my basket. He smiled and said 'I thought I'd fold it for you and bring it up'....as I replied nicely..'Please don't touch my laundry'
...the washer and driers in the scary, dark, dirty, smelly basement. Going back to my previous comment (5 minutes late).. neighbors would leave it over night and at one point 2-3 days in a row. I put up a sign one time, very nice and one of the neighbors ripped it down and threw it out. Sidenote: No one ever cleaned out the lint.
...when it snowed and it took until 5pm that day for the plows to come and clear everything out. Meanwhile, your pants for work were nice and wet, of course cold and icycles hanging off.
...our crazy neighbor living below us. When I say crazy I'm being nice.. I really mean psychotic. Friends, how can you forget? He was constantly yelling throwing things, honking his horn, very unfriendly. He lived with his wife/fiance/girlfriend (either way she was unfaithful) and children.
...our crazy neighbor (yep same guy) who parked in front of the door everyday even though it was the fire lane. It didn't allow the rest of us to park in front to drop off groceries off.
...the cracked window in the kitchen. It was our first day and I was sure to call them to let them know there was a crack. We didn't want to move out one day and not get our deposit back. 4 yrs later we move out and I waved goodbye to the cracked window that never got fixed.
...when there was a break in to a bunch of cars outside our building. There was a huge spot light that faced the cars that was out for months. I wrote letters as well Charlie and I both called. Nothing was done and Friday, October 13th was the night some youngin's broke up and stole some stuff out neighbors cars. Did you know the next day the light got fixed? Well.. I'll be!
...brown water! The pipes were rusty and on so many occasions you had to let the water run for a few minutes before hopping in. Let me say though, I am THANKFUL we had warm water. It's just rather nice in our house seeing how clear it is against a white bathtub.
...speedbumps. As fun as they are to speed and fly over my little Ford Escort (rip where ever you are) got a beating underneath.
The end! :)
You know me, I love lists. Love em! Everytime I get frustrated over something so small in our house I remind myself about the apartment. Now it wasn't bad and I promise to make a list of all the goods that happened while we were there. However, today I'm looking back at things that happened that help me appreciate our home! So here we go.
I sure don't miss.....
...the rotting pine trees in the parking lot that leaned over my little Ford Escort. It dripped sap all over and was awful to remove. Friends of mine who ever visited, I apologize for the sap on your car!
...having to contact the main office for 2 months straight until they fixed our mailbox, gave us a key only to have ripped up mail in the box accumulating overtime.
...the first neighbor across the hall who was overly friendly and creepy all at once. I was 5 minutes late running to the basement to grab my laundry just to find him removing it and folding it in my basket. He smiled and said 'I thought I'd fold it for you and bring it up'....as I replied nicely..'Please don't touch my laundry'
...the washer and driers in the scary, dark, dirty, smelly basement. Going back to my previous comment (5 minutes late).. neighbors would leave it over night and at one point 2-3 days in a row. I put up a sign one time, very nice and one of the neighbors ripped it down and threw it out. Sidenote: No one ever cleaned out the lint.
...when it snowed and it took until 5pm that day for the plows to come and clear everything out. Meanwhile, your pants for work were nice and wet, of course cold and icycles hanging off.
...our crazy neighbor living below us. When I say crazy I'm being nice.. I really mean psychotic. Friends, how can you forget? He was constantly yelling throwing things, honking his horn, very unfriendly. He lived with his wife/fiance/girlfriend (either way she was unfaithful) and children.
...our crazy neighbor (yep same guy) who parked in front of the door everyday even though it was the fire lane. It didn't allow the rest of us to park in front to drop off groceries off.
...the cracked window in the kitchen. It was our first day and I was sure to call them to let them know there was a crack. We didn't want to move out one day and not get our deposit back. 4 yrs later we move out and I waved goodbye to the cracked window that never got fixed.
...when there was a break in to a bunch of cars outside our building. There was a huge spot light that faced the cars that was out for months. I wrote letters as well Charlie and I both called. Nothing was done and Friday, October 13th was the night some youngin's broke up and stole some stuff out neighbors cars. Did you know the next day the light got fixed? Well.. I'll be!
...brown water! The pipes were rusty and on so many occasions you had to let the water run for a few minutes before hopping in. Let me say though, I am THANKFUL we had warm water. It's just rather nice in our house seeing how clear it is against a white bathtub.
...speedbumps. As fun as they are to speed and fly over my little Ford Escort (rip where ever you are) got a beating underneath.
The end! :)
Sunday, August 22, 2010
Find out for yourself all of the strengths you have inside of you..
I was just listening to Jason Mraz, a personal favorite musician & lyricist of mine. He's quite inspriational and I go through life looking for guidance. Even though he's a bit famous and I've never met him, most likely will never.. I genuinely appreciate him being who he is and sharing what he's created with the world. So thank you Jason Mraz!
"Find out for yourself all of the strengths you have inside of you.." The very last verse to his song, 'Song For A Friend.' My last entry was putting together a list of things in my life that were related to the love in my life. I really enjoyed doing that, it felt good. I cried putting that together, but it wasn't because I was sad.. well I guess that's not true. Partly, I was sad thinking back to certain events but it was a good, therapeutic cry which is really healthy.
I've always been an open person and I think that goes back to when I was little and being quite the chatterbox, outgoing and being surrounded by really happy, exciting people. I think love and strength goes hand in hand. I don't think.. I feel that. What we overcome makes us stronger, but we lose, makes us stronger. When we give up on something it doesn't necessarily break us, we learn from it, so that too makes us stronger.
I think it's a great idea for everyone to take time to make a list of their strengths. You don't have to share it with anyone if you choose, but just so that you can remind yourself when times get hard what you've overcome. We're all super-men and women. After you make your list, take a look in the mirror and really look at yourself. That's you, the guy/girl who overcame all of that, it's pretty amazing, it really is.
Just a few things on my list of moments that have helped to make me strong:
..graduating High School, that's alot of years of education built up for one day. The friendships that were made and lost, taking something from all of them.
..being there with all of my grandparents when they were all fighting
cancer. Questioning my beliefs after losing each one and then the day I stopped being angry and began living with the memories and what I learned from all of them.
..when my first breast tumor was discovered when I was 19 and for almost 2 weeks they thought it was cancerous. Being the youngest in a room full of women all suffering from cancer and feeling their strength. My Dr was a true inspiration and helped me understand everything. 4 tumors later, they have all been benign.
..the first time my heart got broken and the first time I broke someone else's heart. You feel you can't go on, but you do, we always do and things get better.
..the day we moved out of the house we lived in for over 15 years. I thought life would never be the same, there was a huge hole in my heart. Then I realized how family made a house a home and not the location.
I love you all,
Kate
"Find out for yourself all of the strengths you have inside of you.." The very last verse to his song, 'Song For A Friend.' My last entry was putting together a list of things in my life that were related to the love in my life. I really enjoyed doing that, it felt good. I cried putting that together, but it wasn't because I was sad.. well I guess that's not true. Partly, I was sad thinking back to certain events but it was a good, therapeutic cry which is really healthy.
I've always been an open person and I think that goes back to when I was little and being quite the chatterbox, outgoing and being surrounded by really happy, exciting people. I think love and strength goes hand in hand. I don't think.. I feel that. What we overcome makes us stronger, but we lose, makes us stronger. When we give up on something it doesn't necessarily break us, we learn from it, so that too makes us stronger.
I think it's a great idea for everyone to take time to make a list of their strengths. You don't have to share it with anyone if you choose, but just so that you can remind yourself when times get hard what you've overcome. We're all super-men and women. After you make your list, take a look in the mirror and really look at yourself. That's you, the guy/girl who overcame all of that, it's pretty amazing, it really is.
Just a few things on my list of moments that have helped to make me strong:
..graduating High School, that's alot of years of education built up for one day. The friendships that were made and lost, taking something from all of them.
..being there with all of my grandparents when they were all fighting
cancer. Questioning my beliefs after losing each one and then the day I stopped being angry and began living with the memories and what I learned from all of them.
..when my first breast tumor was discovered when I was 19 and for almost 2 weeks they thought it was cancerous. Being the youngest in a room full of women all suffering from cancer and feeling their strength. My Dr was a true inspiration and helped me understand everything. 4 tumors later, they have all been benign.
..the first time my heart got broken and the first time I broke someone else's heart. You feel you can't go on, but you do, we always do and things get better.
..the day we moved out of the house we lived in for over 15 years. I thought life would never be the same, there was a huge hole in my heart. Then I realized how family made a house a home and not the location.
I love you all,
Kate
Monday, August 16, 2010
Hello to you too, Love.
Life is crazy, would you agree? I look back to the order of events that brought me to this moment, suppose I do that everyday. Thinking of the most important people in my life and reasons why we are all placed the way we are in one another's lives.
Love is crazy. There's so many different types of 'love'. There's the L word that people are scared to say to someone they may be falling for. There's the love we feel for our pets, our friends, people who made a difference in our lives, a stranger that made your day. A moment, a shirt or pair of jeans, flowers, a book that changes your life. We love air condition when it's hot. There's the love that we can't explain and just feel.
All the people, moments, things that play a part of our life we love when we stop to think about it. I felt like putting a list together of things I love and what love means to be. It's a bit random but while waiting for the laundry to be done and in between cleaning I felt why not sit and make this list. As you know, I love, love, the whole concept of it. I'm feeling more and more lately that people are losing site of love and those that fill our lives up of love and the things around us we're taking for granted.
So here's my list.. what love means to me in no particular order.
Love is..
.. waking up, walking outside to a rose bush that happened to bloom over night. Never owning a house and here I am picking my first rose, putting it in a shotglass on my counter.
.. the excitement of our new puppy, Peanut wagging his stubby tail the momeny I come home.
.. going to the cemetery every spring to plant flowers at my Memere, Papa and Uncle's grave. Something I used to do with my Memere.
.. watching 'It's a Wonderful Life' every yr before Christmas time and thinking what a wonderful life I have being able to share with my family and friends.
.. feeding ducks with Charlie at Mill Pond when we first started dating - 9 years ago.
.. someone asking 'How are you today' when I'm having an awful day and even though I always say 'I'm doing great'. I love that you asked.
.. watching old videos from High School that my best friends and I put together.
.. Cold, raspberry ice tea
.. a hug from someone I haven't seen in a long time because it's expressing how much you've missed each other.
.. Cherry, my favorite stuffed animal that I was given the last Christmas that we had with my Papa.
.. Singing in the car with the windows down.
.. Hiking with good people who appreciate nature as much as I do.
.. old photographs which what I take today will someday be.
.. silence when my mind and heart need it.
.. a best friend book that Tania gave me when we were 19 and we've both filled out. It's not complete, but it exists and has such great memories.
.. the poetry book I started in 3rd grade (which I still have of course)
.. the first time I drank malibu & pineapple with Charlie at the casino when I turned 21.
.. the inside jokes with my family that never get old and we can laugh about over and over.
.. being strong and overcoming bad/sad obstacles with my family.
.. the pain I feel when family is fighting, because love is being challenged.
.. playing tennis in High School and being apart of an amazing team.
.. art class and all the talented friends I made. We all supported one another and could see things other people couldn't.
.. Old Orchard Beach and staying in the same cottages for 20 years.
.. born with that outgoing characteristic which allowed me to make friends easy.
.. living next to my grandparents as a child and calling my Papa my best friend.
.. making a chocolate milkshake just right.
.. seeing my Grandma's huge smile when I said she's a 'Cool Grandma' when she bought a bandana after she started to go through her Chemo treatments.
.. my last sleepover with my Memere before she passed away and what we talked about.
.. Sitting at home with my sister on a Saturday night watching an awful movie with Lou Diamond Philips.
.. Charlie playing his guitar and knowing he feels at peace.
.. hearing my parents laugh.
.. having genuine parents who raise you to love everyone and not hold grudges.
.. crying with a close friend.
.. worrying about people who mean the world to you.
.. being scared.
.. giving a good tip.
.. hot chocolate when it's snowing.
.. the day we were told Nevan won't make it and he did.
.. not having an actual brother but living next to my little cousin who IS my brother.
.. honesty, that's all I've ever asked for.
.. when a stranger holds the door open and smiles before walking away.
.. staying home, drinking wine and taking goofy pictures with a friend.
.. going for a walk at the park and catching up with someone you haven't seen.
.. getting a text from a good friend to say 'hope you have a great day today, I'm thinking of you'
.. my greens eyes that I was once told by my Papa.."that means you're extra Irish"
.. my tears
.. building forts in the living room with Kelly in elementary school when Mom worked late. Dad let us get away with so much.
.. the feeling when I was tall enough to go on bumper cars without an adult.
.. the day I got my driver's license.
.. getting an award at work which makes you realize what you did, didn't go unnoticed.
.. the smell of my favorite candle that just eases me.
.. personal notes in a Birthday card.
.. getting mail which does not include bills.
.. doing something just because and seeing the smile on your face.
This list could continue and one day I will add to it. I love you all for so many different and simliar reasons. We keep each other's hearts going.
:)
Love,
Kate
Love is crazy. There's so many different types of 'love'. There's the L word that people are scared to say to someone they may be falling for. There's the love we feel for our pets, our friends, people who made a difference in our lives, a stranger that made your day. A moment, a shirt or pair of jeans, flowers, a book that changes your life. We love air condition when it's hot. There's the love that we can't explain and just feel.
All the people, moments, things that play a part of our life we love when we stop to think about it. I felt like putting a list together of things I love and what love means to be. It's a bit random but while waiting for the laundry to be done and in between cleaning I felt why not sit and make this list. As you know, I love, love, the whole concept of it. I'm feeling more and more lately that people are losing site of love and those that fill our lives up of love and the things around us we're taking for granted.
So here's my list.. what love means to me in no particular order.
Love is..
.. waking up, walking outside to a rose bush that happened to bloom over night. Never owning a house and here I am picking my first rose, putting it in a shotglass on my counter.
.. the excitement of our new puppy, Peanut wagging his stubby tail the momeny I come home.
.. going to the cemetery every spring to plant flowers at my Memere, Papa and Uncle's grave. Something I used to do with my Memere.
.. watching 'It's a Wonderful Life' every yr before Christmas time and thinking what a wonderful life I have being able to share with my family and friends.
.. feeding ducks with Charlie at Mill Pond when we first started dating - 9 years ago.
.. someone asking 'How are you today' when I'm having an awful day and even though I always say 'I'm doing great'. I love that you asked.
.. watching old videos from High School that my best friends and I put together.
.. Cold, raspberry ice tea
.. a hug from someone I haven't seen in a long time because it's expressing how much you've missed each other.
.. Cherry, my favorite stuffed animal that I was given the last Christmas that we had with my Papa.
.. Singing in the car with the windows down.
.. Hiking with good people who appreciate nature as much as I do.
.. old photographs which what I take today will someday be.
.. silence when my mind and heart need it.
.. a best friend book that Tania gave me when we were 19 and we've both filled out. It's not complete, but it exists and has such great memories.
.. the poetry book I started in 3rd grade (which I still have of course)
.. the first time I drank malibu & pineapple with Charlie at the casino when I turned 21.
.. the inside jokes with my family that never get old and we can laugh about over and over.
.. being strong and overcoming bad/sad obstacles with my family.
.. the pain I feel when family is fighting, because love is being challenged.
.. playing tennis in High School and being apart of an amazing team.
.. art class and all the talented friends I made. We all supported one another and could see things other people couldn't.
.. Old Orchard Beach and staying in the same cottages for 20 years.
.. born with that outgoing characteristic which allowed me to make friends easy.
.. living next to my grandparents as a child and calling my Papa my best friend.
.. making a chocolate milkshake just right.
.. seeing my Grandma's huge smile when I said she's a 'Cool Grandma' when she bought a bandana after she started to go through her Chemo treatments.
.. my last sleepover with my Memere before she passed away and what we talked about.
.. Sitting at home with my sister on a Saturday night watching an awful movie with Lou Diamond Philips.
.. Charlie playing his guitar and knowing he feels at peace.
.. hearing my parents laugh.
.. having genuine parents who raise you to love everyone and not hold grudges.
.. crying with a close friend.
.. worrying about people who mean the world to you.
.. being scared.
.. giving a good tip.
.. hot chocolate when it's snowing.
.. the day we were told Nevan won't make it and he did.
.. not having an actual brother but living next to my little cousin who IS my brother.
.. honesty, that's all I've ever asked for.
.. when a stranger holds the door open and smiles before walking away.
.. staying home, drinking wine and taking goofy pictures with a friend.
.. going for a walk at the park and catching up with someone you haven't seen.
.. getting a text from a good friend to say 'hope you have a great day today, I'm thinking of you'
.. my greens eyes that I was once told by my Papa.."that means you're extra Irish"
.. my tears
.. building forts in the living room with Kelly in elementary school when Mom worked late. Dad let us get away with so much.
.. the feeling when I was tall enough to go on bumper cars without an adult.
.. the day I got my driver's license.
.. getting an award at work which makes you realize what you did, didn't go unnoticed.
.. the smell of my favorite candle that just eases me.
.. personal notes in a Birthday card.
.. getting mail which does not include bills.
.. doing something just because and seeing the smile on your face.
This list could continue and one day I will add to it. I love you all for so many different and simliar reasons. We keep each other's hearts going.
:)
Love,
Kate
Saturday, March 20, 2010
Take a walk on the wildside!
Well hello there friend!
I'm unsure where to start, as I always have a slow lift off and as you've ready previous notes I'm all over the place with my thoughts.
It began with a Dove Chocolate wrapper, about a month ago. Actually, let's take one more step back from that day.. it started with the new year. Every year, I make resolutions, goals, etc etc etc as we all try so hard to do and keep. I'll shimmy through all of my thoughts to help you understand where I'm coming from. I never try to force my views on anyone but I'm hoping perhaps, maybe these will help some of you with whatever you might be facing. I've always been a little bit of an open book and I'm okay with that. I know my boundaries and when trust takes the lead.
How did this all start? I know you're asking yourself this.. or maybe not. :) I decided with the new year that I need to be me again. We are always us in the matter that our bodies do not change, but did you ever feel a little lost? Did you regret a moment because you were scared and then thought back that you were never scared in the past? Did you ever find yourself in a situation that you never felt you would ever be? This could be anywhere from certain types of people that do not bring out the best part of you to opinions you find yourself having that make you dislike yourself a little more? The truth is, I was beginning to head down that road. Now for me it wasn't anything 'crazy' where it was noticeable, but in time I did notice it and since I have to live with myself.. I had to do something about it.
So there I was lost, upset, sad, maybe depressed (I would never admit) wondering where KT went, curious to know why I couldn't hold a conversation anymore, or in the same respect why I chose to avoid conversations. I would cancel on events, or seclude myself on several occasions. I didn't feel fun anymore. That wasn't me, for those who 'know' me.. that wasn't me. I finally woke up and looked at myself in the mirror. It took a while but 2010 pointed a lot out to me. 2010 decided to reintroduce me to me.
Now back to the chocolate, Dove.. I must give you some credit here. I opened the candy under the assumption that I was indulge in a delicious sweet treat. To my surprise there was a little 'love note' as I like to call it. It read 'Try something new today'. This wrapper now lives in my wallet and hopefully it'll remain there for the rest of my life. Since that day I have tried or done something new each day. I speak the truth..
I forgot that amazing feeling you get when there's something new in your life in some way. It feels like a great accomplishment each day as I've lived so far in 2010. I've eaten new foods that I would never had tried as I'm fussy as all hell when it comes to food. I have ventured out to some new places that I've seen but just never had ambition to go into. I've made new friends and also reconnected with old friends. You may not consider that new (reconnecting with friends) but it's new to the life I've been living, they haven't been apart of it and now are in some way or another.
Another thing I am doing this year is a monthly cousin's gathering. I have a huge family and they are so amazing. We've all been through some powerful, life changing events whether together or apart but it's made our family that much stronger. I wanted to do something where we can all enjoy each other's company and perhaps do fun activities. I will leave it at last month was Karaoke night and we sung our hearts out! For those that feel they can never find time if you set one night a month guaranteed with a certain group of friends or family it will work. You will all make it work. It's so important to stay close with one another through life. We only have one life..
In conclusion.. my whole outlook on this year is making a change to my life; however, gaining who I am again and remembering that this is the only life I get.
Thank you 2010, for coming into my life.
I love you all more than you'll ever know, but I hope you do know!
Kate
I'm unsure where to start, as I always have a slow lift off and as you've ready previous notes I'm all over the place with my thoughts.
It began with a Dove Chocolate wrapper, about a month ago. Actually, let's take one more step back from that day.. it started with the new year. Every year, I make resolutions, goals, etc etc etc as we all try so hard to do and keep. I'll shimmy through all of my thoughts to help you understand where I'm coming from. I never try to force my views on anyone but I'm hoping perhaps, maybe these will help some of you with whatever you might be facing. I've always been a little bit of an open book and I'm okay with that. I know my boundaries and when trust takes the lead.
How did this all start? I know you're asking yourself this.. or maybe not. :) I decided with the new year that I need to be me again. We are always us in the matter that our bodies do not change, but did you ever feel a little lost? Did you regret a moment because you were scared and then thought back that you were never scared in the past? Did you ever find yourself in a situation that you never felt you would ever be? This could be anywhere from certain types of people that do not bring out the best part of you to opinions you find yourself having that make you dislike yourself a little more? The truth is, I was beginning to head down that road. Now for me it wasn't anything 'crazy' where it was noticeable, but in time I did notice it and since I have to live with myself.. I had to do something about it.
So there I was lost, upset, sad, maybe depressed (I would never admit) wondering where KT went, curious to know why I couldn't hold a conversation anymore, or in the same respect why I chose to avoid conversations. I would cancel on events, or seclude myself on several occasions. I didn't feel fun anymore. That wasn't me, for those who 'know' me.. that wasn't me. I finally woke up and looked at myself in the mirror. It took a while but 2010 pointed a lot out to me. 2010 decided to reintroduce me to me.
Now back to the chocolate, Dove.. I must give you some credit here. I opened the candy under the assumption that I was indulge in a delicious sweet treat. To my surprise there was a little 'love note' as I like to call it. It read 'Try something new today'. This wrapper now lives in my wallet and hopefully it'll remain there for the rest of my life. Since that day I have tried or done something new each day. I speak the truth..
I forgot that amazing feeling you get when there's something new in your life in some way. It feels like a great accomplishment each day as I've lived so far in 2010. I've eaten new foods that I would never had tried as I'm fussy as all hell when it comes to food. I have ventured out to some new places that I've seen but just never had ambition to go into. I've made new friends and also reconnected with old friends. You may not consider that new (reconnecting with friends) but it's new to the life I've been living, they haven't been apart of it and now are in some way or another.
Another thing I am doing this year is a monthly cousin's gathering. I have a huge family and they are so amazing. We've all been through some powerful, life changing events whether together or apart but it's made our family that much stronger. I wanted to do something where we can all enjoy each other's company and perhaps do fun activities. I will leave it at last month was Karaoke night and we sung our hearts out! For those that feel they can never find time if you set one night a month guaranteed with a certain group of friends or family it will work. You will all make it work. It's so important to stay close with one another through life. We only have one life..
In conclusion.. my whole outlook on this year is making a change to my life; however, gaining who I am again and remembering that this is the only life I get.
Thank you 2010, for coming into my life.
I love you all more than you'll ever know, but I hope you do know!
Kate
Tuesday, October 13, 2009
How strong can one be?
Let's start with.. It's been a while, I know. Here I am, still me and in one piece. (I'll toast to that!)
Lately, all's that I find myself doing is placing myself in others shoes which I feel we all need to do from time to time. Recently, it seems more and more which can be quite overwhelming. The strange thing is that it's not just people that surround my life but happens to be strangers as well.
We get so wrapped up in our every day routine. We get so comfortable with what is familiar and are too scared to color outside the lines so to speak. I guess that starts leading into a discussion of change which isn't the way I choose to go this evening. Even though, alot floats around the concept of change.
What I'm feeling is the burdens yet important responsibilities which make us.. well us. The strength that keeps us going, what forces that strength. Why do some of us have it and others don't? Who gets to be strong and how strong can one be?
There are those who go through life only worrying about how things will affect their lives. It doesn't necessarily mean they don't care about others, they just got so wrapped up in their own lives they don't feel or can't find room to let anyone in. Those are the kind of people others cannot depend on. Those who are really strong and try to carry the world on their shoulders, wish at times and they can be those people.. but we can't.
For so long, I've often wondered how people can turn others away. I've come to the conclusion I can sit there hour after hour trying to put myself in ....that woman's shoes.. the one driving the car that almost knocked me off the road. It makes me angry that she wasn't watching where she was going. Then I take a deep breath and think okay, what reasons could it be she was driving too fast? I start come up with all these understandable reasons.. she was trying to get the Hospital... Who knows..
I try to put myself in .. that's man's shoes. The one who makes rude remarks to people as he walks bye. Why? Well, he probably had a terrible home life growing up. Is it an excuse for him to treat people so terribly? No, it's not. Then why? Who knows..
So looking back to these scenarios before I end up writing a book and get lost as I always do.. What these two scenarios are lacking in my eyes is strength. When we're strong, and this doesn't mean confident, just strong our hearts seem to work on overrtime. The world is lacking strength. Those around us everyday are lacking strength. They're missing the strength to.. here goes that word make a 'change'. They're sad and miserable because there was never someone with strength in their lives to encouragement them, push them, fix the record player so it's not on repeat over and over playing the same song.
We all need to find our own strength. The hardest part is controlling it and knowing how strong we can be before we burn ourselves out. We can't be super heroes. The world will crush us if it's on our shoulders. We pick our battles and choose when it's okay to step in. If you have strength, share. Get someone you love away from that neverending routine that seems to bring them down. Be strong for others, but at the same time don't lose yourself.
Lately, all's that I find myself doing is placing myself in others shoes which I feel we all need to do from time to time. Recently, it seems more and more which can be quite overwhelming. The strange thing is that it's not just people that surround my life but happens to be strangers as well.
We get so wrapped up in our every day routine. We get so comfortable with what is familiar and are too scared to color outside the lines so to speak. I guess that starts leading into a discussion of change which isn't the way I choose to go this evening. Even though, alot floats around the concept of change.
What I'm feeling is the burdens yet important responsibilities which make us.. well us. The strength that keeps us going, what forces that strength. Why do some of us have it and others don't? Who gets to be strong and how strong can one be?
There are those who go through life only worrying about how things will affect their lives. It doesn't necessarily mean they don't care about others, they just got so wrapped up in their own lives they don't feel or can't find room to let anyone in. Those are the kind of people others cannot depend on. Those who are really strong and try to carry the world on their shoulders, wish at times and they can be those people.. but we can't.
For so long, I've often wondered how people can turn others away. I've come to the conclusion I can sit there hour after hour trying to put myself in ....that woman's shoes.. the one driving the car that almost knocked me off the road. It makes me angry that she wasn't watching where she was going. Then I take a deep breath and think okay, what reasons could it be she was driving too fast? I start come up with all these understandable reasons.. she was trying to get the Hospital... Who knows..
I try to put myself in .. that's man's shoes. The one who makes rude remarks to people as he walks bye. Why? Well, he probably had a terrible home life growing up. Is it an excuse for him to treat people so terribly? No, it's not. Then why? Who knows..
So looking back to these scenarios before I end up writing a book and get lost as I always do.. What these two scenarios are lacking in my eyes is strength. When we're strong, and this doesn't mean confident, just strong our hearts seem to work on overrtime. The world is lacking strength. Those around us everyday are lacking strength. They're missing the strength to.. here goes that word make a 'change'. They're sad and miserable because there was never someone with strength in their lives to encouragement them, push them, fix the record player so it's not on repeat over and over playing the same song.
We all need to find our own strength. The hardest part is controlling it and knowing how strong we can be before we burn ourselves out. We can't be super heroes. The world will crush us if it's on our shoulders. We pick our battles and choose when it's okay to step in. If you have strength, share. Get someone you love away from that neverending routine that seems to bring them down. Be strong for others, but at the same time don't lose yourself.
Monday, January 19, 2009
What it means to simplify
'So much to do'.. that's what I think of the moment I wake up to the time my eyes shut at night and my body falls sound asleep. Do you ever find yourself in such a comfortable position that if only you could lock that moment in time and go back to it whenever you're stressed? I have those moments but it seems to never be the same. In other words, it's like going to the hair dresser, having your hair look and feel perfect and you can never get it like that again. I can't remember the last time I've been to a salon..
'So much to do'.. so what do I do about it? That's what I find myself asking.. myself in that comfortable position. It's been 3 yrs now since Charlie and I moved into our apartment. I have boxes still from my previous home of items I wasn't even aware were there. They say and I'm uncertain if its 1 or 2 yrs, but if you haven't touched, worn or used an item in that amount of time then it's good to throw it out. It's things you don't need. Now I'm sure they aren't referring to pictures, etc. Because pictures, there is no way those will ever be confined in a garbage bag. I went through clothes, tops that are still beautiful but I never wear because I accumulate more and more clothes. Those who know me, I'm a pack rat and I LOVE clothes :) Can I add a comment there, I'm a bargain shopper, so my life savings does not go to fabrics haha. I simplified my closets. Not only where my clothes rest, but my hallway closet.
I know these last few thoughts have no true importance, but it made me feel amazing. I feel amazing as I type. I have a sign when you walk in my home and the door shuts.. it says 'simplify'. That's how I look at life. If you're life is too congested, then that's how your life will play out. You'll feel like everything is caving in around you, that there's no where to go. For a while now I've had that feeling. It started to take over me, but I won't let it. You just need the motivation. Through everything recently, non stop stomach aches, migraines that just seem to visit whenever they choose.. I needed something.. I need to simplify what's pushing me down. Now you probably think, what does a semi-empty closet really do? Well it's actually going to help me in the future. See Charlie and I goal this year is getting a house. Now when we find a house, I don't want to spend weeks getting rid of garbage. I figure if I do this now, that's less stress in months from now that we or I will have to deal with. I'm trying to simplify now.
I guess the way I describe this whole transition I'm going through may in a way be organizing, but I don't think so. It's the end result of course, but there's still so much simplifying I need to do with my life.
I challenge all of you to simplify something in your life. Start small, go through a sock drawer lol. You must have socks with holes in them that just sit there and you never ever wear them. Go through a desk drawer and throw out those little pieces of paper, or pens that don't work. Perhaps you want to go bigger, through a cell phone and delete those numbers that you have no idea who they belong too or perhaps people you don't even speak to anymore. Maybe it's gathering all the loose change in your home, pockets, car and putting it into a savings account. Trust me, you'll be left with this amazing feeling. You'll be left sitting in this extremely comfortable position.. that same position you were trying so hard to find again that you can now lock in place. You'll know how to get back that feeling again. It's the feeling of something new, a new chapter.. you're simplifying you're life and now creating allowing so much more room for something great to come in. You're getting ready to move on with life.
That's my plan :)
I love you all very much. Go simplify!!
'So much to do'.. so what do I do about it? That's what I find myself asking.. myself in that comfortable position. It's been 3 yrs now since Charlie and I moved into our apartment. I have boxes still from my previous home of items I wasn't even aware were there. They say and I'm uncertain if its 1 or 2 yrs, but if you haven't touched, worn or used an item in that amount of time then it's good to throw it out. It's things you don't need. Now I'm sure they aren't referring to pictures, etc. Because pictures, there is no way those will ever be confined in a garbage bag. I went through clothes, tops that are still beautiful but I never wear because I accumulate more and more clothes. Those who know me, I'm a pack rat and I LOVE clothes :) Can I add a comment there, I'm a bargain shopper, so my life savings does not go to fabrics haha. I simplified my closets. Not only where my clothes rest, but my hallway closet.
I know these last few thoughts have no true importance, but it made me feel amazing. I feel amazing as I type. I have a sign when you walk in my home and the door shuts.. it says 'simplify'. That's how I look at life. If you're life is too congested, then that's how your life will play out. You'll feel like everything is caving in around you, that there's no where to go. For a while now I've had that feeling. It started to take over me, but I won't let it. You just need the motivation. Through everything recently, non stop stomach aches, migraines that just seem to visit whenever they choose.. I needed something.. I need to simplify what's pushing me down. Now you probably think, what does a semi-empty closet really do? Well it's actually going to help me in the future. See Charlie and I goal this year is getting a house. Now when we find a house, I don't want to spend weeks getting rid of garbage. I figure if I do this now, that's less stress in months from now that we or I will have to deal with. I'm trying to simplify now.
I guess the way I describe this whole transition I'm going through may in a way be organizing, but I don't think so. It's the end result of course, but there's still so much simplifying I need to do with my life.
I challenge all of you to simplify something in your life. Start small, go through a sock drawer lol. You must have socks with holes in them that just sit there and you never ever wear them. Go through a desk drawer and throw out those little pieces of paper, or pens that don't work. Perhaps you want to go bigger, through a cell phone and delete those numbers that you have no idea who they belong too or perhaps people you don't even speak to anymore. Maybe it's gathering all the loose change in your home, pockets, car and putting it into a savings account. Trust me, you'll be left with this amazing feeling. You'll be left sitting in this extremely comfortable position.. that same position you were trying so hard to find again that you can now lock in place. You'll know how to get back that feeling again. It's the feeling of something new, a new chapter.. you're simplifying you're life and now creating allowing so much more room for something great to come in. You're getting ready to move on with life.
That's my plan :)
I love you all very much. Go simplify!!
Sunday, January 11, 2009
Living simply, living now.
Happy New Year everyone!
It's finally 2009 and before we know it 2010 will be knocking on our doors. These past few months have truly opened my eyes. Believe me, I know I sound like a broken record when every day something opens my eyes. The surgery went 'okay' and that's all I really can say on that. It didn't go bad.. just not how I would have liked it to. I went in not knowing the underlining cause of my stomach pain and I came out with answers. The answers have not been elimated though, and that's what I'm struggling with everyday. I have endometriosis in various spots. The main one is behind my uterus on the opposite wall (whatever that truly means in medical terms). It doesn't go away I'm told and the pain has not gone away. I feel the same way I did prior to my surgery. There's a few options to suppress the pain, but I'm not to keen on those ideas. I'm not complaining however, I think I hide it all pretty well. It'll take time but things will work out how they should. I'll make the best decisions for me.
Christmas, oh my my my.. CHRISTMAS! What a fabulous Christmas my family and I had. The majority of my relatives on my father's side all celebrated the 'EVE' together and it was such a blast. We couldn't have all asked for a better Christmas. Just to add we were missing alot of family, so of course that would have been truly amazing having everyone together.
This leads me to my project I'm working on, which hands down I'm pretty stoked about. If you have a huge family (not necessarily close, as most families have their arguments here and there) you will know what I mean. Everyone family has stories. My family (relatives included here of course) are always sharing stories whenever we're together. Ex: happy or sad memories; silly inside jokes; twisted stories since as years go on our memories fade away. Yet they're stories, and they make us who we are and each family member will carry those on forever. Going back 10 years, I wanted to put together a book of stories from my family. This way in 10.. 20.. 100 yrs from now generations can read about these life changing events, crazy stories and the ones that make you roll on the floor laughing. This past Christmas finally woke that idea back up. The book is going to be dedicated to my Memere and Papa, because without them my family would not be a family. As well dedicated to my Uncle Timmy who had passed away when we were younger. I feel this is something every family needs. Wouldn't you love to right now sit down and open up a book of stories that your great great-grandparents put together? To hear about what life was like when they were younger, or growing up? I will keep you posted with my progress.
So here we are 1/11/09, have you written down any goals? It seems everyone is so against writing goals down. I hear the same answer, 'eh.. I'll never do that.. That will never happen.. I stopped writing resolutions down'. The sad part is when we write down resolutions, it makes us feel we have a time limit of 365 days to get every item on our list checked off and completed. It shouldn't be looked at that way. It's the same thing as figuring out what you want to be, or do with your life. It takes time. You need to work on the minor aspects of your life. That way once they're all taken care of, all those minute and tedious little obstacles.. you can then move on to the BIG stuff!
I have a few goals.. taking care of things we need to do so Charlie and I will be in a house! I'm working really hard on my Photography and that'll be rolling any week now. I hope to advance with work. It takes time. Things will not happen over night, I know that.
I love you all and again.. HAPPY NEW YEAR! :) good luck!
It's finally 2009 and before we know it 2010 will be knocking on our doors. These past few months have truly opened my eyes. Believe me, I know I sound like a broken record when every day something opens my eyes. The surgery went 'okay' and that's all I really can say on that. It didn't go bad.. just not how I would have liked it to. I went in not knowing the underlining cause of my stomach pain and I came out with answers. The answers have not been elimated though, and that's what I'm struggling with everyday. I have endometriosis in various spots. The main one is behind my uterus on the opposite wall (whatever that truly means in medical terms). It doesn't go away I'm told and the pain has not gone away. I feel the same way I did prior to my surgery. There's a few options to suppress the pain, but I'm not to keen on those ideas. I'm not complaining however, I think I hide it all pretty well. It'll take time but things will work out how they should. I'll make the best decisions for me.
Christmas, oh my my my.. CHRISTMAS! What a fabulous Christmas my family and I had. The majority of my relatives on my father's side all celebrated the 'EVE' together and it was such a blast. We couldn't have all asked for a better Christmas. Just to add we were missing alot of family, so of course that would have been truly amazing having everyone together.
This leads me to my project I'm working on, which hands down I'm pretty stoked about. If you have a huge family (not necessarily close, as most families have their arguments here and there) you will know what I mean. Everyone family has stories. My family (relatives included here of course) are always sharing stories whenever we're together. Ex: happy or sad memories; silly inside jokes; twisted stories since as years go on our memories fade away. Yet they're stories, and they make us who we are and each family member will carry those on forever. Going back 10 years, I wanted to put together a book of stories from my family. This way in 10.. 20.. 100 yrs from now generations can read about these life changing events, crazy stories and the ones that make you roll on the floor laughing. This past Christmas finally woke that idea back up. The book is going to be dedicated to my Memere and Papa, because without them my family would not be a family. As well dedicated to my Uncle Timmy who had passed away when we were younger. I feel this is something every family needs. Wouldn't you love to right now sit down and open up a book of stories that your great great-grandparents put together? To hear about what life was like when they were younger, or growing up? I will keep you posted with my progress.
So here we are 1/11/09, have you written down any goals? It seems everyone is so against writing goals down. I hear the same answer, 'eh.. I'll never do that.. That will never happen.. I stopped writing resolutions down'. The sad part is when we write down resolutions, it makes us feel we have a time limit of 365 days to get every item on our list checked off and completed. It shouldn't be looked at that way. It's the same thing as figuring out what you want to be, or do with your life. It takes time. You need to work on the minor aspects of your life. That way once they're all taken care of, all those minute and tedious little obstacles.. you can then move on to the BIG stuff!
I have a few goals.. taking care of things we need to do so Charlie and I will be in a house! I'm working really hard on my Photography and that'll be rolling any week now. I hope to advance with work. It takes time. Things will not happen over night, I know that.
I love you all and again.. HAPPY NEW YEAR! :) good luck!
Tuesday, November 11, 2008
Strangers end up becoming our best friends!
It's Tuesday night and the flu is slowly making its way out of my body.. the flu. I didn't get a flu shot because I personally don't feel it'll help me. Is this Karma? Last week, work was offering them right near my desk. Can I just add literally 20 ft a way in a little room perhaps 8x8. I thought no way.. not me.. I don't need that shot! Two days later I wake up feeling like a pile of dog droppings. I don't even think that comparison does justice. I felt like sewage, lol. Okay, enough! The very bottom line is I was sick.. am sick, getting better thank god by the day. I have surgery scheduled for Friday, can this have happened at a worse time? I keep telling myself I'm being tested for how strong of a person I very well might be. How am I doing, whoever is watching me under a microscope? I would love a report =)
The topic I wanted to touch base on is relationships. Feedback is always appreciated as I'm always trying to make heads or tails with my thoughts. Isn't it amazing the various, different, unique relationships we have with people and though categorizing everyone, none of them are the same. When I say relationships I'm not referring to the typical love interest.. a spouse or significant other. I mean our family, friends, those we work with all day long (co-workers or simplify it), neighbors? I'm going to scratch out neighbors only because Charlie and I don't have the friendliest ones and I can't really define that. I would love to hear your stories though!
My definition of family would have to be those in your life that no matter what happens will always have an infinite amount of love to give to you, never walk away emotionally, share memories that no other relationships could possibly ever come close to replacing. They will always be there. Sometimes you'll build such an amazing bond with your family that it seems too good to be true to be called family. Family you're born into in a way, related by blood as so many say. You're love just grows beyond a shared last name. Now taking a step back you may be picturing a family with no faults. It rains and sometimes it pours, but please.. please keep in mind the sun always comes out! There are always situations that families face together or apart. They may not be around or there are always those unresolved issues that break up a happy home; however, they are the same ones that surprise you when life has carried you to the edge. In a way, to me, they're you're forever friends and will always know you in a way other relationship won't. "To us, family means putting your arms around each other and being there."
Friends! This one is huge and I need to keep it as short, sweet and simple as possible. Friends branches to so many other sub categories. You have acquaintances, those you confide in, the ones that just want to have a good time. All in all they're friends. At one point in your life they may have been your everything. The one that kept you together when you felt there was no one else to hold you up. I feel our emotions are the same with friends as they are with our family relationships but our actions seem to change with each person we love. I've noticed in life observing people as I LOVE to gives hugs to everyone.. it's easier for people to hug friends than family. I don't feel you love either less or more, it's the approach. It's what each person brings out of you. My suggestion HUG EVERYONE! Start now, start tomorrow! "A friend is someone who helps you up when you're down, and if they can't, they lay down beside you and listen."
It's hard to get up and go to work every day, I think everyone will agree. What makes it worth while, the money? Of course! Co-workers you build relationships with. Me personally, I feel I'm at work more than I am home. During the week that probably is true if you're counting the hours sleeping. The people I work with make it close to easy waking up and dragging myself to my desk everyday. We support one another, since we're all in it together. It's so important to build relationships at work, it's not good to be in a negative environment since work is the wood that keeps the fireplace burning, right? "Never lose site of the fact that the most important yardstick of your success will be how you treat other people - your family, friends and coworkers, and even strangers you meet along the way."
I love everyone so much and the various relationships we've all built through out the years. I try so hard to express that to everyone and hope you all know how important you are. =)
Goodnight everyone, love you all!!
Kate
The topic I wanted to touch base on is relationships. Feedback is always appreciated as I'm always trying to make heads or tails with my thoughts. Isn't it amazing the various, different, unique relationships we have with people and though categorizing everyone, none of them are the same. When I say relationships I'm not referring to the typical love interest.. a spouse or significant other. I mean our family, friends, those we work with all day long (co-workers or simplify it), neighbors? I'm going to scratch out neighbors only because Charlie and I don't have the friendliest ones and I can't really define that. I would love to hear your stories though!
My definition of family would have to be those in your life that no matter what happens will always have an infinite amount of love to give to you, never walk away emotionally, share memories that no other relationships could possibly ever come close to replacing. They will always be there. Sometimes you'll build such an amazing bond with your family that it seems too good to be true to be called family. Family you're born into in a way, related by blood as so many say. You're love just grows beyond a shared last name. Now taking a step back you may be picturing a family with no faults. It rains and sometimes it pours, but please.. please keep in mind the sun always comes out! There are always situations that families face together or apart. They may not be around or there are always those unresolved issues that break up a happy home; however, they are the same ones that surprise you when life has carried you to the edge. In a way, to me, they're you're forever friends and will always know you in a way other relationship won't. "To us, family means putting your arms around each other and being there."
Friends! This one is huge and I need to keep it as short, sweet and simple as possible. Friends branches to so many other sub categories. You have acquaintances, those you confide in, the ones that just want to have a good time. All in all they're friends. At one point in your life they may have been your everything. The one that kept you together when you felt there was no one else to hold you up. I feel our emotions are the same with friends as they are with our family relationships but our actions seem to change with each person we love. I've noticed in life observing people as I LOVE to gives hugs to everyone.. it's easier for people to hug friends than family. I don't feel you love either less or more, it's the approach. It's what each person brings out of you. My suggestion HUG EVERYONE! Start now, start tomorrow! "A friend is someone who helps you up when you're down, and if they can't, they lay down beside you and listen."
It's hard to get up and go to work every day, I think everyone will agree. What makes it worth while, the money? Of course! Co-workers you build relationships with. Me personally, I feel I'm at work more than I am home. During the week that probably is true if you're counting the hours sleeping. The people I work with make it close to easy waking up and dragging myself to my desk everyday. We support one another, since we're all in it together. It's so important to build relationships at work, it's not good to be in a negative environment since work is the wood that keeps the fireplace burning, right? "Never lose site of the fact that the most important yardstick of your success will be how you treat other people - your family, friends and coworkers, and even strangers you meet along the way."
I love everyone so much and the various relationships we've all built through out the years. I try so hard to express that to everyone and hope you all know how important you are. =)
Goodnight everyone, love you all!!
Kate
Monday, November 10, 2008
I think it's time to change our socks
Change is the word I see and hear where ever I go. "Something has gotta give." A new president, it's about time. I don't like politics so I'm not going to expand too much on my views here. I will admit, I constantly keep telling myself this is a good thing even though I didn't like either party and their future projects are a bit frightening. Things won't get resolved in 4 years that is true. It takes time but hopefully it's on our side.
Do you ever take a step back a big step back and thing of all that has been accomplished in life? Ever seen the movie Hairspray? It's a musical, yes I know.. a bunch of young teenie boppers dancing around and singing about the specific moment they're in. It's much more than that. Segregation, remember that word? The young generation growing up now may never have heard of this unless they're taught it in Social Studies. Every time I think about it, I take a moment to take thank MLK Jr for initiating what ended up leading to integration. I cannot even begin to imagine living in a world where we're told who we can associate ourselves with. My parents raised me to love everyone and everything. Isn't that huge obstacle this country has overcome?
Each decade seems to bring new struggles, or more so every year. I know things are hard right now, but thinking back to a time when it was worse, shouldn't we be more thankful for what we have? I can write a whole list of things I'm thankful for but for now I what they are and appreciate this life I've been given. We as a nation need to change. We need to be stronger and be more positive. We need to appreciate all that we have more than ever, or it's going to bring us down..
Just a few thoughts of mine for a Monday.
Have a beautiful day!
Kate
Do you ever take a step back a big step back and thing of all that has been accomplished in life? Ever seen the movie Hairspray? It's a musical, yes I know.. a bunch of young teenie boppers dancing around and singing about the specific moment they're in. It's much more than that. Segregation, remember that word? The young generation growing up now may never have heard of this unless they're taught it in Social Studies. Every time I think about it, I take a moment to take thank MLK Jr for initiating what ended up leading to integration. I cannot even begin to imagine living in a world where we're told who we can associate ourselves with. My parents raised me to love everyone and everything. Isn't that huge obstacle this country has overcome?
Each decade seems to bring new struggles, or more so every year. I know things are hard right now, but thinking back to a time when it was worse, shouldn't we be more thankful for what we have? I can write a whole list of things I'm thankful for but for now I what they are and appreciate this life I've been given. We as a nation need to change. We need to be stronger and be more positive. We need to appreciate all that we have more than ever, or it's going to bring us down..
Just a few thoughts of mine for a Monday.
Have a beautiful day!
Kate
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)