Monday, January 24, 2011

Tears for a beautiful soul.

“Difficult times have helped me to understand better than before, how infinitely rich and beautiful life is in every way, and that so many things that one goes worrying about are of no importance whatsoever..."
I recently did a post on our Last Words to those we love. Since I wrote that I have kept my word, carefully thinking before I leave the presence of a loved one. I was happy after the inspiration came about because I knew it's something that would leave me feeling better. Knowing that I now have a chance to leave on good terms with whoever and whenever and not have any regrets.
What I didn't think about though when I wrote that is those that I haven't seen in so long and that I will never have a chance to see again.. A friend of mine that I worked with years ago passed away on Saturday. I was unaware that she was battling cancer, since I sadly have not kept in touch over the years. I remember our talks everyday and the times I would say 'Do you need a hug?'.. and so we would. I remember her love for sparkly/glittered nail polish and I would help her pick out a new colour. I remember her telling me stories about her father, husband and her two boys. She always made me laugh and smile, she had that effect on anyone.
When you build good friendships with those you work with it feels like family since we spend so much time together. She was one of those friends to me. I can't even count how many times I would pass bye my old job and think to stop in just to give her a hug.. but I didn't. 
I did feel an abundance of regrets last night as I heard the news and the tears just wouldn't stop. Today I still feel numb but knowing what others have told me, that she's at peace and no longer in pain is a comfort on so many levels.
We learn something everyday. I learned that even though I'm going to change the course of life going forward in regards to leaving the presence of those I love on happy terms... I cannot be upset with the past and what I cannot change.
I'm sad for those that did not get a chance to know her as she was an amazing, genuine and strong woman. I'm happy to be able to cheerish the memories I have of her. I do not remember our exact last words together but what I do remember is hugging her and that makes me smile. That is friendship, that is love. ♥
Tonight I light a candle for Laurel ♥
With all my love,